Speedcat interview

Wendster ... traveling reporter

interviews the beloved and resourceful .... SPEEDCAT HOLLYDALE (crowds go wild! Aaauuhhhhhhhh!!!!)

QUESTION NUMBER ONE: When did you first realize that you possessed the power of flight?

As a small child, relatives would come over and throw me up in the air, then forget about me. I had to learn in a hurry. This also earned me the name of lil Speedy.

QUESTION NUMBER TWO: How did you find out that Mardy had a side business going on as a fashion designer for budgies and cockatiels?

I would get home from work, and there he was, in a pile of dog toys and hickory flavored rawhide sticks. At first, I figured he was just stealing from the neighbor's poodle, which I never liked anyway. My lightbulb "lit" when I saw him drive by in a small electric turtle car.

Mardy's uber cool turtle car.

QUESTION NUMBER THREE: Do you find that it is useful to have the world’s longest pinky toes?

No ... and many women have left the pool area in shock after gazing upon them.

QUESTION NUMBER FOUR: Golf. The world’s greatest sport, or just an aphrodisiac?

A little of both. After a really hot round I feel like procreating with all kinds of stuff.

QUESTION NUMBER FIVE: In your opinion, what is the world’s most perfect food?

ohhh, that's easy! Chicken of course. You can make anything with chicken, even furniture

QUESTION NUMBER FIVE: Aside from golf golf golf and blogging … your favorite activity?

Well, you did hit the two "hot buttons". You know a hot button because it's hot. I would have to go with "buffet show downs" ... one man, unlimited food, and no clean up. You have never been out until you have buffeted with me. I coined that term while eating at the world's largest buffet in Hong Kong last summer

QUESTION NUMBER SIX: Blondes, brunettes, raven hairs, or redheads?? Or perhaappppsss … the little ladies with the blue hair?

I'm not choosy. Mostly I want a woman with less hair on her back than I have. Second, I look at the nose. I like them big.

QUESTION NUMBER SEVEN: The best movie you’ve seen recently?

I liked Crazy Heart, not only because it was a great story of overcoming addiction, it also had some fantastic live music. I stood up in the middle of the film and yelled out happy expletives.

QUESTION NUMBER EIGHT: Future plans … what are yours? Or in other words … the “WH”’s of ten years from now. (Where will you be? WHo will you be with? What when why which whilly whonka … you get the idea.)

I have not yet figured out what I will do tomorrow, but as an educated guess, I see myself in the country somewhere teaching golf at a little town Country Club, and married to a woman as scatter brained and easy going as myself. I truly believe the one thing I do not like is stress. What may seem exciting to others is like blah blah blah to noisy for me. I like decks, and wind.

QUESTION NUMBER NINE: Chicken. Baked? Fried? BBQ’d? Or wild and free?

I throw mine in corning-ware, then dump a bunch of stuff on top. When it comes out of the oven, you simply dump it all out on a big deep plate and eat. The best chicken I ever had was with Juice Newton before she married that turd of a husband she drags all over town. She called it Catch a Torry Pine Chicken, and no ... no recipe from her.

QUESTION NUMBER TEN: What rhymes with “chocolate”?

Nicolette Sheridan