FOR THE BAD PERSON
Now you can give a rotten person a gift that says, "Hey ... you stink". Of course the beauty of this is that everyone will laugh and your kick to the groin will go un-noticed except by the recipient. That is GEEEEEENIOUS!
This gum is actually pretty tasty, and has the ability to make your tongue look like coal too.
Bloggers love uploading photos to share with other bloggers. That's just the way it is. The problem with that is finding someone to TAKE all of the photos where you project how happy and good your life is. Now, there is no need to find a table, rock, or otherwise to set the timed shutter camera perched up like a sparrow on a twig. The photo wand does all the work, and doubles as a walking stick. Trust me, with this baby, blogging will be elevated to a whole new peek of goodie shit! This is also great for the single folks out there like me, as each picture will make it seem like you're with "somebody" as you do stuff all alone. Makes loneliness happy again :-)
FOR THE WOMAN
These cleaning slippers are the perfect gift to place some kind of jewelry inside. After getting hit, you can then say, check the size to see if they fit ... and be persistent. When the lil' woman finds the surprise inside, she will melt because you have already lowered her expectations of yourself. The emotional roller coaster is the best way to ride a big tasty wave into a ladies heart.
After she has the new jewelry, she will then also love the slippers, and possibly wear them to bed. Yes I know ... women ALWAYS say they do not need or care about fancy / expensive jewelry, but I have yet to see one get diamond earrings and not turn into a puddle of goo. Men also know this guarantees them at least 5 get out of trouble free cards, so it's really a gift for two.
The Zero Gravity SpinMaster Air Hog puts a new twist on RC as the Vehicle chases light beams on the wall, floor, or ceiling. You just point the light beam and watch the vehicle follow .. it also glows in the dark. How is this possible? The car utilizes air pressure (or the lack of it) to hug flat surfaces like Spiderman. No doubt kids will love this one. In fact, I want one too.
While this "virtual reality" set of wide screen 3D video glasses will not excite a woman, but a man will turn into a hyped out, love struck orangutan jumping up and down with Christmas glee.
The box will be torn off in seconds, instructions tossed aside, and a video source will be plugged in before one minute goes by. Trust me ladies, if you want some hot french style kissing from your normally lazy and short attention spanned husband, get him a set of these.
If you would just as well prefer him to leave you alone in the recliner, get some DVD's too.
Of course, as much as I think these gift ideas are in fact quite good, this post is written with a bit of cynicism. I have always thought that Christmas has become way too commercialized, and actually a hard time for many. I don't think that shopping truly envelopes what the holidays are about.
I do think that this season can produce a caring and "giving with your heart" emotions to be elevated. This year, lets all focus on letting the people important in our lives know just how special they are ... and why stop there? Let's reach out to anyone and everyone. A hug, a smile, a helping hand? I realize one person cannot change the world, but maybe the small things we can do make all the difference.
(( Santa told me that ))
MORE HOLIDAY POSTS!
1. Shopping For Christmas Games in New York City, 1895 / Lidian
2. Christmas Past (part 2)---A Baking Frenzy, Package Patrol, Fuzzy Lights, the Arm Tickle, and Cream of Wheat / Daisy
Having problems commenting? Use this alternate comment page! I will move responses to the correct location.
ALTERNATE COMMENT PAGE