The Pros and Cons of Organic Farming are simple. Organic is more expensive, and non organic will make you grow boobs and goiters. Did you know that most of what you eat now is a new hybrid ... resistant to non selective herbicide? Well, I plan to change this equation until some MON` Santo's lawyer comes to my farm and destroys my family.
MY PLAN is simple. I feed my chickens 3 cans of Hormel Chili ( and me too ) before going out into the field, then the turd and lay eggs everywhere as we work together in natures harmony. We also sing old chicken songs like " Bawk Bawk BRAAAgAWWWK". Right now we are planting Winter Wheat and cotton. Funny how your underwear is made from a plant! Next spring the arugula & gummy bears will be the crop of choice. I think you can get gummy bear underwear too ... hopefully that will raise revenues here at the Hollydale Ranch. If all goes well, I will be taking applications for a new wife. I will provide a happy (and healthy) life and lots of goodie luvins , if you wash the grundies
... please link or copy this post so I do not spend the rest of my life talking to my dog
17 comments:
You, sir - are too funny for words! Thoroughly enjoyed this one!
Thanks !!!
... please spread the news about the wife applications. If enough people blog about it, maybe I can actually have a candle lit dinner without a large fire in my carpets :-)
LMAO Speedy! You are too funny you should be locked up! :D Wife applications? Really?! I'll make an announcement on Facebook! LOL :D
Thanks Ane!
I will Fed EX your chili :-)
I can understand goiters, but whats wrong with growin' boobs?
And....would you consider a wife application from a non-human? xoxo
(Been so long, I ALMOST forgot how to get here!)
Singing along with the chicken songs:
Bwok bwok bwooooooock
bwok bwok bwwwoooooooock
bwok bwok bwa-bwa-bwa-bwa-bwa-bwooock!
My hen hath laid an egg!!!!!!!
And then she lays an eeeeeeegggggg!!!!
and repeat.
Wife applications?
Gummi bear underwear?
ARUGULA!?!??!?!?!??!?!
Oh my frikkiiin GOSH!
I NEED ARUGULA!!!!!
That's it. I'm moving to Hollydale in the morning.
Make room on the ranch. Can we turn it into a commune? Is there room for everyone?
Save me a bowl of chili.
Hug!
I love your smilin' face AND your hilarious personality, my friend!
You are just too fun and I'm glad to know 'ya ... especially now that arugula is available.
Wendy
Good idea to link to your blog. Let me see if I REMEMBER how to do it! If I can remember HOW ... I most certainly WILL.
p.s. What are your specifications for chicken singers and wife applicants?
I must admit that I was absolutely horrified when I first saw the pic attached to this post. For after spending all of those years being a chicken-hauler, being hauled by a chicken is something rather strange to me, but then I got to thinkin'...
Ya gotsta watch out fer dem oeufs in case dey undercooked :D
I can't wait for the gummy bear crop to be ready to harvest! HA HA! And I do so very much regret clicking on the grundies link. Ewwwww!
You're a riot, Speedy. Thanks for the laugh. :D
You stole that one line from Sandee. I'm gonna' tell on you! but, we all know she on;t care.
Needed a little Speedy Spirit Lift! Got it!!
Oh, please please please say you are going to post some of the wife applications!!! :) I sense some good reading coming along!!! :)
Organic farming methods offer several benefits for the environment and human health as a whole, but unfortunately, there are many misconceptions and falsehoods being spread regarding organic food and farming methods, both by proponents and detractors. Here are the facts about what organic methods can do for us and what they can't.
http://www.selfdestructivebastards.com/2009/11/organic-myths-and-realities.html
Thought this read would be insightful, but it was also quite hilarious!
Very funny article and no I'm not abnout to make a joke about the man in the picture with the giant... chicken. I keep chickens myself and the mess they make is phenominal, every time I look at one it seems to be poopin'.
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