Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Speedcat Hollydale is the 40-ish Year Old Virgin


Speedcat Hollydale is the 40-ish Year Old Virgin 40 year old virgin
Speedcat Hollydale: Yah ... so I have not really had any luck meeting woman. I have had them as friends, but never in a romantic setting.

Cal: The problem most men have is they don't know how to talk to women. Maybe you need to take lessons from a pro, like David Hasselhoffers.

Speedcat Hollydale: That's a stooopid idea Cal. The right girl will come along for me ... someday

Trish: Um... how you doing? I work across the street. How would you like to go out this weekend??

Speedcat Hollydale: (pops a woody)

Trish: Well, how about and answer? ... or are you just going to stand there like an idiot?

Speedcat Hollydale: Ohhh, yeah, sorry. I was watching a dream sequence in my brain for a moment there. uhhh - sure, that would be great!

Trish from 40 year old virginTrish: Alright then, pick me up at seven.

Speedcat Hollydale: If you don't mind, I will pick you up at six. How about a kiss to seal the deal!??

Trish: OK then ......... (lots of Frenching noises)

Cal: This is a sign of the Apocalypse - I just know it. Good luck Speedcat.

Speedcat Hollydale: Don't need luck Cal, this blog is written by me, so I can end this story any way I like.

Trish: Speedcat, I am going to tear you up, you nerdy pile of belly button lint ...

fake romance at 40
EPILOGUE

Mooj: This is bull! Every time I make a sale, you go crying to Paula. How about ... how about Paula Abdul? Oh, Paula, she needs a call...

Jay: I'm sick of you poaching my customers.

Mooj: I'm sick of your cry-baby crap. Do you like Blueberry Buckle??



Blueberry buckle baby food .

58 comments:

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Hi Olga !!

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

If that picture is the Look Of Love?....maybe you need a new shirt!

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

WTF?!?!? You spying on me?!!!!

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

I mean....

Hi Speedy....xoxo

Speedcat Hollydale said...

ha haaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!!!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

New shirt?? Wadda ya mean??

(pondering my wardrobe)

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

I mean....I dont like dat shirt!

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

Annnnnnnd...you need to go on a diet!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

seafood and polo?

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

what?

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Yooo lookin at my sidebar handles?

Speedcat Hollydale said...

yes yes .... seafood and Polo

Speedcat Hollydale said...

vroooOOOOOOOOOOooooommm !!!!!!!!

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

Yeah...the polo shirt isnot flattering a'tall. I prefer you in yer cowboy PJs!

And what about that horrid TwitPic pic of you!!! Dear Lord....how much pie did you EAT on Mothers Day!?!!?!

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

I'm seriously starting to worry 'bout you.....(wink)

Speedcat Hollydale said...

I had 52 jars of Blueberry Buckle ... worry bout what????

Speedcat Hollydale said...

.. and two cuppyCakes

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

You cant blame THAT on 2 lil' ol' cuppycakes! :)

I think you should include that pic in your virgin post....would explain a LOT!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Didn't you read the story ... I am not really so verginal any more. Just ask Trish and Paula Abdul

Speedcat Hollydale said...

ooops .. "verginal"

ha ha haaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

Of COURSE I didnt read the story....I only look at the pictures! You know that! :)

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

verginal sounds kinda....eeeeew.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

yep ... like a BAD liquor!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

I like pitchas tooo ((smile))

Speedcat Hollydale said...

reading is stooooopid

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

Hmmmmmm....I think it sounds something else...but I wont say what.

How come I cant log on to Twit Pic?!!? I wanna leave a sweet comment on your pic! :)

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Twit pickinzz???

I dunno? Maybe you were kicked off for bandwidth theft

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

OMG...it's late....you musta had a Speedy Nap 2day?

I did a not-so-speedy haircut...took me TWO HOURS! HAHAH! But turned out great! :)

Speedcat Hollydale said...

I hope you are successful - I like nice stuff :-)

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

I steal no bandwidth....I dunno what that even IS!!!!!!!!!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

nappy ... yes. You stole bandwidth and did not know it?? LOLOLOL

Skooools going well ?

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

Yeah...but I am tired cuz I stay up too late & get up too dang early! Arrrrggg.....

Speedcat Hollydale said...

EYES headed off to bed - but it was GREAT 2 C U again !!!!!!!!!!

night night Cuppie

SMOOOOOOTCHIE SMOOOOTCHIE

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

'Gnite to you Speedy! XOXO

*Akilah Sakai* said...

I must say, your poster is much hotter than Steve Carell's! Yum!

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahaha. You crack me up Speedy.

Have a terrific day. Big hug. :)

Michelle Gartner said...

I forgot what I read and can barely type... blinded by the picture of you posing as Jabba the Hutt on the side. It reminds me of the Simpson's episode where Homer is going to get disability for being morbidly obese and Bart fantasizes about news people watching him wash himself with a stick because he is so fat.

If you post pics of you washing with a stick I am out of here...

dcr said...

I imagine this would make more sense if I knew who Trish was.

And Mooj.

Hillbilly Willy said...

Willy says -Huh!

10-4 Willy

Chris said...

Hey Speedy.... I just stomped over here from my blog to make sure I DIDN'T MISS YOUR TOES.

STOMP!

I feel SO much better now! :)

Creative Mish said...

Are you gonna get waxed?

Ane Fallarme said...

I don't know what just happened.. but I think I like it.. LOL

wendy said...

I don't know WHAT I was expecting when I clicked on the hyperlink in "popped a woody" ... but that was FUNNY.

I also lost it when you said: "I'm going to tear you up, you nerdy pile of belly button lint!

That Trish ... she is a wild woman.

And you, 40-ish verginal-used-to-be are dang funny.

wendy said...

Thanks for tucking me in last night. And ... erm ... waving to me with your belly fat. :)

Yeeee haaaaaaa what a ride that would be!

I'd call you seiz-mo-man ... look at the root words we've got going in THAT title!

Size ... MOre ... and MAN.

OK. I'm not running with that one.

I'm just gonna leave it be.

Night!

wendy said...

Oh wait! I wanted to say one more thing.

How DO you see people before they comment?

And how DID you see me when I said I was leaving but hadn't clicked on the x button yet, and you said: I can see you!

How does he do that?

A boneless chicken to who ever knows the answer.

And some blueberry buckle.

wendy said...

You know ...

wendy said...

If I were to leave a few more comments I could get onto the top commenters list!

I love that list!

I am too dang competetive!

and

I can't resist!!!

wendy said...

popping open a jar of blueberry buckle.

wendy said...

... cuz I've decided to stay a while!

Ssssiiiiiggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

wendy said...

Rats. They aren't showing on the counter.

wendy said...

I am thwarted!

Daisy said...

Speedy, you could have the story end any way you wanted and you had it end with Trish tearing you up? HA HA HA HA HA!

(and whatever that Jay/Paula/Moog business was about too--ha ha!).

So I'm guessing Trish tearing you up like belly button lint is a good thing then? heee heee! Oh my!

Blueberry buckle (the real thing--not the baby food kind) sounds good at least. I think it would go nice with a little butter on it on a little fancy plate on the bed tray you have there with a nice hot cup of tea. The rose is pretty too.

It looks like Trish (or maybe Paula or Moog or Jay!!!?) left behind some sort of underclothing there. hmmmmm.........

I think I'll have to rent the movie and watch it a few times to see if I can figure out what happened to Trish.

Rolando said...

I agree with Ane, what just happened here lol.

Miss Moneypenny said...

Hello Speedy 'Woody' Virgincat,

Will U stay Celibate,
Or will U Alienate,
By exposing your Woody Master Bait,
On your Hot Date? ;))

That's what happens when a virgin Speedcat Woody bends the dating rules. :))

Debo Hobo said...

Gooood Looooord Man!!!!!! LOL:)

Bee said...

I hope you're recovering from your pop woody. Sounds painful.

Mimi Lenox said...

If you would stop twisting your head around in those strange gyrations you could get a woman. You're quite handsome when you're not all scrunched up like that.

Am I going to have to send you to the dungeon??!
Again??!!!!

Julie said...

I can't peel an orange and read you at the same time and I can't decide if eating or giggling is more important right now!