I had heard some crazy rumors buzzing in town about the Hollydale Seed & Feed. Some claim that aliens were dropping of cargo, and farmers using the products were having cows change into vigilante chickens, and so forth. I of course assumed these rumors were all coming from the town gossip, Adalina Forsencuppens. She was the one who told everyone in Hollydale that I am a really bad kisser, and ruined my dating life in the past few months. Sure, my frenching skills are not the best, but who frenches on the first date anyway? I have standards you know.
Well, because my dog Mardy was out of food, and my afternoon "date" cancelled on me (AGAIN) ... I decided to head on down to the Purina outlet and see for myself what the heck was going on. All seemed to be pretty run of the mill as I drove my 1977 ElCamino into the lot. The usual folks were there, and Shirly Titalbaken was running the cash register. She dumped me last week, but I had gotten over that already.
THAT IS WHEN THINGS GOT WEIRD !!! I looked over to the right and Hollydale Lake was free of fish houses, and open water was present. This was probably because of the UFO thrusters. WHAT ! .... a UFO, good cats! The alien craft swooped over the shoreline, and then hovered right over the feed and seed. Shirly Titalbaken waved it in with two glow sticks from Kemper Drugs in town. This was getting good.
After the drop off was made, I investigated with sleuth-like prowess. There were many clues, but none better than the space grains now in the harvest containers. Curious, I tries a bite or two, and then found my body was morphing into a GIANT HUMANOIDOUS ERECTUS. Now 78 feet tall and full of energy, I hopped in the roof of the Hollydale Seed and Feed to whoop and hollar. It was fun, I must admit having towns people taking photos and pointing up at me. Of course, I used this "golden moment" to prove once and for all that I am NOT really bad at Frenching. I have a date tonight with a 67 foot tall woman that lives in the next county ... so do not expect to find me out blogging till after 11:00 PM.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Strange things at the Hollydale Seed and Feed
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51 comments:
Frenching on a first date..where is that a rule...:))
nothin life a run through the old feed mill to feel yur oats..:)))
Wow!! Are you going to french kiss this one on the second date? :-}
It might take you a month to reach her lips by way of the ladder based on her height.
Haha! Speedcat whenever I need a laugh I am so glad to be able to come to you in Hollydale.
By the way, I changed my URL to bibihasthelastword.blogspot.com
Come and see me after your date with your Amazon and tell me if she is a great kisser! :D
Still plan to shop at the local Big & TALL?
Hehehe, you're so creative.
Oh my. I fear for your date's safety. I mean I bet your tongue is 15ft. long. Ick.
Just saying.
Hey I just saw one of those space ships hovering over the old mobile home...
lol good as usual Eric
And we'll be here making sure you get in by your 11:00 curfew.
We want to hear about the kissin'.
You know. The good stuff.
Waiting...
lol Speedy...
amazing pics!!!!
and unbelievable story!!
enjoy your date tonight ;))
Humanoidoius Erectus looks like a dried booger to me. I wouldnt french THAT if ya promised me corn dogs FOR LIFE!
But I hope YOU have a great time on your date. :)
OoooopS! :)
Nurse ... where have you been !???
I've been around....like a donut!
Where have YOU been? :) xoxo
Working a lot ... believe it or not! Today I have been laying around like a loaf of bread though.
Loafing around?
.... a dried booogar ??? ((he heee))
I've been busy! The teenage beavers are keeping me hoppin!
WEll it does....
YEP!!!
blog, coffee, nap, eat, blog, tv, blog again. NOT BAD !
Ya big loafa bread! White or whole wheat?
I was just about to retire - glad you stopped by. Doctor Shoal is in Barbadoes doing a seminar.
I am whole wheat split top butter
He is...is he! Lucky Doc! I'm about to change into a BRA! :)
Taa-daaaaaa!!!!
....looking for Monday Music....
SHAZAM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You see my disco dancing?
ahhhhhhhh ... I C I C
Crusty did one with Travis Tritt ... pretty good!!!!!!!
You have DA MOVES Speedy!!! Thought maybe you'd be in traction now or something....
:)
OK...I'm headin over to post my musica now.....talk to you SOON!!!
Smoooooooooooooootch!
Ahhh, you 2 are cute! Um, you 3. ;)
HA HA HA HA HA! Thanks for the laugh, Speedy!
I didn't know that frenching involves sheet metal and welding!!!! Oh my! aha ha ha ha! You all must do that differently in Minnesota than we do it here in Ohio.
Great post, Speedy. You got me rolling here.
That little Humanoid thing is quite creepy! I don't know where you find such stuff.
I hope you had fun on your date. You have to be careful dancing with a 67 foot women though---she steps on your foot and that is going to hurt! ha ha ha! :D
Oh my what a tale you have here. I too can't wait for the update.
And the comment section here is wonderful too.
I await with abated breath to hear the conclusion!!:-)))
If you are 78 feet tall, just think how long your tongue would be.
Connie ... it "was" 12 feet. I have since returned to normal size, but my date has not. She dumped me and tossed me in a dumpster. Man - really tall women are strong !!!!
Hi Jackie!
Well, I guess I am back to square one, but the Hollydale rumors have died down for the moment ((smile))
Daisy!
Seems everyone is clicking the humaniodus link. I am always curious as to what sparks a "click" and what does not.
Here is a little know blog fact .... if you link a photo in a post, the google bots read it as ON YOUR BLOG, and picture searches will render that photo even though it is not visable on your site. Hits for free !!!!!
My date?? Well, we kissed, but it was drooly cause of the large lips. Not so good .........
AIR ... you comment on comments???
LOL LOL !!!!!!! Great post on blogging ideas BTW :-)
Hi Kim ... great to see your smiling face! Did I make it to MM first???
I will have some HUGE DATE pitchas later. he heee
Mimi ... well, no real HOT stuff to report. We ate 77 pizzas the sat by the park on a flatbed trailer. Kiss??? Not so good, but the pizza was free!!!!
THANKS RANDY :)
Robert ... try and lassooo that bugger and bring the outer skin to the recycling center. Space metal is very profitable!!
AUNTIE !!!!!!!!!
Yeh, it got stuck in her ear, and she punched me in the gut
Sue! ... It's just true reporting
Akilah ... we have a super JUMBO clothier in Hollydale. sizes 555 XXXXXXXXXX to 777 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
BIBI - I changed your URL on my blogroll ... thanks for letting me know :-)
As for the second date - well, probably not. I am joining the Hollydale socialite Tuesday mixers club !!!!!
Nice UFO!
Hi Speedy Farmcat,
Fresh Farm Seed Standards?... For someone sowing his French oats, your "giant" Humanoidous Erectus seems to be spilling your dead seed everywhere! :))
This one's just for you Speedy!
http://simplyshinade.blogspot.com/2009/03/have-you-ever-had-friend.html
Hugs,
Jackie:-)
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