Valentines ... love it or hate it, here it comes. Personally, I hate the "expectation" type holiday. Nobody can tell me to get all lovie dovie. Of course, their are some out there who must produce on this day, or pay for it later. Here is my guide to goodie lovin` for the novice and whipped ball and chainers.
First off, if you are shallow and have a big pocketbook, just by a ton of roses and gold earrings. Women claim to want love and compassion, but there is not one alive that will not melt like butter on a hot-plate when finding a room full of roses. This is in their genetic code.
Second, for all the new bee lovers that think life is a romance fest of bliss, here are some pointers to keep in your pocket until reality sets in!
1. Speak softly, and look into your woman's eyes. Tell her, "I never knew I could be so happy, my whole life has changed for the better because you are in it".
2. Give her a big hug and say, "I could hold you forever"
3. Take the day off work, and go to all of her favorite places. Pretend to be really captivated and enthusiastic!!!
Of course, the gushy sweet letter or poem is always a real winner. Write it with so much compassion that you fear dying of embarrassment if the guys at work found it.
DO ADD THESE STATEMENTS
I love you
You are so beautiful
Thank you
Be my Valentine
... for the most wonderful woman in the world
DO NOT ADD THESE STATEMENTS
You are as hot as Paris Hilton
I will do the same if we are together next year
I always liked women that were kind of dirty
This gift certificate is good for 6 months
Glad you started wearing more make-up
Here's a suggestion!!
Your lips I kiss, and soar across the skiesEach day with you is brighter
The angels must have been on my shoulder
because it seems like heaven near you
This day is special ... I must be the luckiest man alive Valentines day is for lovers, thank God you are by my side
If I had one day to spend, and then leave this Earth ...
it would be holding you, my princess, my best friend, and my world
NOW ... tell me the ladies did not like that!! Not bad, especially because I wrote it to my monitor screen. Ohh my sweet computer, let me count the keys on your motherboard.
As my own personal Valentine's day gift, here is a romantic song for dancing after dinner, performed by yours truly. It is a sure fire way to really light some passionate sparks and heat up the night. You can even take a copy to your blog for use on February 14th.
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Good luck everyone, and Happy Valentines from SpeedyCat
111 comments:
didnt know you were so sentimental lmao. money tight right now for us so I'll have to give mine i owe ya one kinda . We are remarrying in the spring, Recommit ourselves to eatchother no more stupid crap on either of our parts , So hopefully all will be well again.
Ooooooooh....I have butter melted all over me cups now! *sigh*
Coltfan ... matbe you should re-read my post!
HA HAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!
Olga .... woolight woolight!!
Did you know that there is a picha of you at AIR's blog ;-)
Why Speedy, have YOU seen the movie, "Enchanted?"
I think maybe the princess would have chosen YOU over what's-his-name.
hee hee
Seriously, how did you get to be so smart about women?
It's really not about STUFF. It's about ATTITUDE.
I kinda like da melted buttah....I could go for a little massage now....
(Remarrying? The SAME person?...OMG! HAHAHA!!!)
Sweet words, you loverboy you!
Happy (heart) Day to you, too Speedy.
All I need is food on the 14th! No flowers, no candy, but yummy food 'cos eating is my favorite pasttime. ;)
Akila ... me too, lots of steak and lobster!!!
Olga .... come here, you smell delishious!!!
Hi Chris!!
"Enchanted?" ... ermmm, no. Never heard of it.
Yes, that old charm is crutial, but let me see you walk into a room full of flowers (smile)
You could dip your lobster claw in my butter-cups! :)
(Now does'nt THAT sound fun!?!?!)
So, you are looking to get laid Saturday aren't you Speedy. Bwahahahaha.
Loved the love boat tune. Did you get goosed at the end? Then the blues/jazzy 2009. I think you got goosed at the end of that one too.
Have a terrific day and a very happy Valentine's day. Big hug. :)
Sandee .... HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOLOLOL LOL
oLGA lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw !!!!
ACK!!! Just ONE!
And watch your pinchers please.
Thank you.
.. sorry :-)
claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw !!!!
You are entirely too well educated and underemployed. You were one of THOSE funny kids in high school about whom the teachers would say, "What IS going to become of him?"
Oh... "Looooooooooooooove"
Hahahahahahahahaha
*sigh*....men. One track mind.
Kanani ... I was doing GREAT until a few weeks back when my industry collapsed with our fine economy. Just two short months ago there was not enough laber to cover all the work coming in.
Olga ... Lobsta claw ???
Speedy, that is SO funny that you don't know the movie, "Enchanted," because your last picture is FROM THAT MOVIE.
I saw it in the theater TWICE, so I should know. :)
I don't know about me and the flowers. My first reaction would probably be, "OMG, how much did this cost and why wasn't that put on our MORTGAGE?" :)
Rob says I would die if he filled a room with flowers from him. DEATH FROM SHOCK. :) I just asked him. He considers Valentine's Day to be a made-up Hallmark holiday and unworthy of his attention.
Awwww....much bettah.
I think you have Valentines Day all figured out Speedy! I mean Twinkles. How'd ya get so shmart?
AHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!
You called me twinkles again! ... ohhh dear
Chris .... "I KNEW IT!!!"
he heeee
Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles Twinkles!
hee-heeeeeee! Twinkles.
Ah, yes, but that is not going to stop me from buying myself some beautiful red roses tomorrow! :) Just a few, though, not a roomful. :)
I truly think it is day for "it's the thought that counts".
If he thought to buys tons of roses and trinket, that would be lovely, but if he though to stay in and cook dinner then that is lovely as well.
Vise versa it is not just a day for women to receive gifts it is for the man,or significant other as well.
Debo .... You are so serious today! I did not put one serious word in this post so you have me off gaurd.
Honestly?? If people need a special day to be "nice" ... they really do need to be together at all. My "serious" thought :-)
Chris ... you one thing, the prices go WAY up on Valentines week. The smart man always buys his a month early, then does the dishes on Valentines ((smile))
OLGA .........
claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw !!!!claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster clawlobster clawlobster claw lobster claw lobster claw lobster clawlobster claw lobster claw !!!!
ahhh...how cute!!....hee hee!!
*sigh* How romantic!
I wonder what Doctah Shoal has up his sleeve for Valentines Day? (Professionally speaking of course.)
Doctor might be having a singles party!!!!!
Hi Darlene!!! ... I pried you out of Facebook (ha haaaaa)
Ah, don't worry, Speedy. I'm a smart shopper. I won't spend more than $20. :)
And this saves Rob the aggravation. It's win-win. :)
I actually can't wait to go pick them up! I love flowers! :)
See, $16.99 for a dozen red roses. How can you beat that? :) I can practically smell them already! :)
http://www.aldifoods.com/index_ENU_HTML.htm
Valentine's Day this year is all about my parents. Their 50th anniversary is on Valentine's Day! Wow!!! :) Hard to imagine, isn't it?
Single as in ONE?
i love this post! thank you! thank you! thank you!
i appreciate you being appreciative to women. ;-)
Hi Ranran ... thank you for that nice comment!!
Nurse .... no, ALL of the single people at the clinic who will otherwise be home crying - and then blogging about it. Nobody likes that!!!
Chris ... you should have one of those Bargain Hunter sites! Everywhere aroung here is 75 bucks!! Of course I live in Beverly Hills, so this might have something to do with it.
NO WAY! :) Wow, you live in a pricey neighborhood! :)
I wouldn't even WANT flowers that cost $75. I'd rather go without and help a homeless collie. :)
Hahahahahaha!! You sing well too SppeedyCat!
Your FL furiends,
Who knew you were such a die hard romantic? <3
HUGGERZ.
Hi Auntie!!
Is anyone actually reading the whole post???
Hi Sam n Tigger!! I like the big blue tent in your yard. Do cats do valentine?? This Cat did once upon a time :-)
Not that I don't like your singing (I do) but now that blasted seasick song is stuck in my brain.
ARgghhh!!
(Happy Valentine's Day, Speedy)
I just heard the yoowwwllll at the end.
I take it all back.
Chris ... How about million dollar flowers???
Now I'm listening to 2009.
Interesting....you sound a bit like Satchmo tonight.
This made me smile. Ha. You are so funny.
Mimi !!!!!!! I was just thinking about you, I saw your bad blogger post from the other day on my reader. Shall I send you some candy or flowers this year?? Will you kiss me on the cheek again ... cauz that was nice.
SMOOOOOOOOOOOTCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There you are! ... so yes to candy???
I love my keyboard too....in fact...it's smokin'! ;)
YOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Where did you go???
Nurse!!!!!!!
You want candy this year too, or a keyboard?? LOL
Looks like you're stuck with ME again. Poor Doctah.
A candy keyboard would be SWELL! Lots' of M & M's on it I guess....
Nurse ... how can I be stuck to you, we used nail polish remover for that last super glue thing at the party.
M&m keys???? Ohhh Joy !!! I better not eat the ! or the ? because I use those a lot!!
yummie yummie
You are stuck WITH me not ON me....BIG diff. Dont make me draw you a pitcha. ;)
What's your favorite candy Doctah?
OoooopS!....you said TO me....not ON me...THAT'S a whole different sort of stickiness, isnt it? LOL!
I need a candy bar.
....sometimes I confuse myself SO MUCH!
WOW !!!!!!!!!!!
...it's been a long day Doctah. Gimme a break. Or some M&M's would be nice! :)
I just had to make a short comment, I have been 50 different places in the last 10 minutes!
M&Ms coming up!!
....good!
.
Lets take a ride! m&m
Haha I like to do a combination of all 3. I'm a sap what can I say.
That's so CUTE! And looks a WHOLE lot more comfy than my last ride! :)
Did you know that women are descended from centipedes? That's why we buy so many shoes.
Buy shoes.
(subliminal message ... bet you didn't even see it there ... just had a sudden impulse to shoe shop)
and for the record ... IIII read the whole post. He said he's NOT a hopeless romantic! Not! You can't make HIM be lovie dovie if he doesn't wanna be. Nope. And he DOESN'T believe in commercial holidays.
Neither do I.
It's the principal of the thing.
... "dip your lobster in my buttuh cups ..." ... my .... Valentine's Day has started already!
lobster claw!
I just wanted to say it too.
OK ... on a more serious note, Mr. Eric .... there are a few things that I am not following here, even though I have become one of your blog followers ... I think ... if I clicked the right stuff ...
one: What WILL you do with Mrs. Hollydale this year? celebrate your love some other day, just for the heck of it? Will you serenade her? Will she serenade you? Curious minds want to know.
two: You haven't seen ENCHANTED but you have a photo from enchanted on your blog?
That was a GREAT MOVIE!!! You probably would enjoy it. The chipmunk will be your favorite character, bar none! Him and the ogre.
oh .... and if you know where you picked it up, please do direct me to the store where you picked up that candy key board.
... pulls a gun out of it's holster and fires .... CHOCOLATE SYRUP!
Hey ... it's the "sweet" holiday ... the holiday where everyone wants to devour each other:
You're my honey
You're so sweet!
I could just eat you up!
So ... why not top them with chocolate?
Now ... where is my whipped cream gun?
As soon as I find it, you had better LOOK OUT!
bwa ha ha hahaaaaaa!
You'd best shave that beard and put on a shower cap. Or just put the shower cap on your beard.
yeah. That will work.
*jumps back into the Minestrone river and starts to swim for home*
I'll be back! When I find my whipped creme spray! Mmmm ... carrot! This is the way to swim.
p.s. Can't listen to your singing yet because I have to wait till morning when my man is up and at em ... don't wanna wake him.
Bet it was good!
(Twinkles! I don't even know what that's about, but you do seem a little sparkly, so there you have it.)
I have seen that movie. Really a nice and sweet movie for every one.
That movie is not that much different then some other fairy tales. Same old thing in some new dress.
It's early in the morning and I think I might throw up...maybe if I have my juice and coffee.
Hummm maybe it's because I have diabeties. too too sweet
Wendster...........your scaring me just a little.
If hubby was that sweet...I'd know
he had a girlfriend or he was buying the 30,000. harley
LMAO. Love the dress!
At least your post is 'safe' loving, not like that scary Shakespeare guy's Romeo and Juliet that made the headlines in the UK today for all the wrong reasons.
Sigh, and they say romance is dead!
http://ew-coffeebreak.blogspot.com/
Speedy,
Million dollar FLOWERS? What, are they encrusted with royal jewels or something? Diamonds? Pearls?
Can I sell them on eBay and fund something worthwhile? :)
I want to take a ride on the Looooooove Boat! Nobuddy ever sang to me before. My Mancat boyfriend Skeezix got me a fuzzy heart toy. And it was filled with CATNIP!! I am lucky.
I have another award for you
Glad you started wearing makeup. Awesome!!!
ha ha! Speedy the romantic!
I don't really do Valentines day - not since I was a teenager. In fact, I don't think it's as big a deal in the UK. I expect it all year round!
Happy Valentine’s Day from Mariuca! Join me in a wonderful new Love Meme. Let’s spread the love shall we? :)
Flowers are nice. Better than candie.
Hiya Speedy,
Now I'm not expecting to buy any roses or any chocolates.....that could be because I have no one to buy for lol....it sure is peaceful though :)
Have a great day buddy,
Colin
Speedy's singing again! Another hit! ha ha :)
Pen and pencil in hand... I'm taking notes!
Intrepid ... you will be wise with words!!
Daisy - yes, even sillier than the last :-)
COLIN !!!!!!!!!! Great to see you my friend. Single can be good in many ways.
Mariuca: All done! tnx :)
Beetle: That's a GOOD policy. I like it
Summer .... yes, that always gets the romance flowing
Michelle: DONE!!!
Daisy Cat ... REALLY?? Cat nip makah me all giddy insides
Chris: They are for sale on my Squidoo Web Site under Ebay stuff. Bet you did not know I had a money blog ... did you??
Van Insurance said...
I have seen that movie. Really a nice and sweet movie for every one.
5:24 AM
ClearDebt IVA said...
That movie is not that much different then some other fairy tales. Same old thing in some new dress.
WENDSTER !!!!!!!!!!! Did I ever tell you how much I love your comments. They ALWAYS make me smile. "Thank you"
Rolando ... then you can blog more!! (just kidding) You have a nice wife and I am sure she is happy to have you. Hope you two have a terrific day
EW ... The dress? I "hear" it is from a movie!! Who knew??
HA HAAAAAAA !!!!!!!
Maunie ... you are the GREATEST. Driving away on my Harley now
BRRRRRRROOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM *****
You have a MONEY BLOG? I thought you were ANTI money blog?
This is MOST curious! :)
Let us know when you sell your first million. :) Maybe we can arrange for a little government redistribution.
"glad you started wearing makeup." Bwahahahaha!
The loooooove boat,...
singing with you.
Ahhhh ... but there lies the difference. A money WEB SITE does not run around commenting and spamming everyone so you will go click links.
I never push my web site (wink) or did I just do that ??? OOOPS!
I love the Gov Re-Distribution comment!! HA HAAAAAA!!!!!!! They are planning to censor us all too. Keep your eye out for the "stop crime" on the net laws coming soon.
I better go money WEBBING quick like :-)
Hi Jen!!! My off key ending should be worth the click (((smile)))
Happy Valentines!
Blech. I hate Valentines Day. We're not that nice to each other the other 364 days of the year, why should this one be any different? I do however, LOVE the Love Boat theme song. Reminds me how I used to have a crush on Gopher.
In honor of Valentine's Day (no, not really, but it was a way to squeeze this comment into this post), I have something very special for you on my blog. Our mutual blogging friends say you will love it.
Ha ha!
On a serious note, I frequently get bored with all the holidays, many of which I think were invented by the card companies and later adopted by retailers to sell stuff. I mean, why do we set aside a day for romance? Or a day for mothers? Or fathers? Or grandparents? And so on? Shouldn't we treat people well every day? And, it really messes things up too. Say you see something nice, and you just know a loved one would like it. Do you buy it? Do you give it to them right away? Do you save it for a specific day (Valentine's Day, etc.)? If you give it to them right away, do you then have to buy them another gift for Valentine's Day? And so on...
I mean, many of these holidays don't really add value to our lives; they just give many people added stress. Oh, you need to find a gift by a certain date. And, someone will be disappointed if they don't get a gift. And, what if it's the wrong gift? And, why? Because it's a certain day?
I think we worry too much about certain days, and don't do enough in the every day.
oh geez there's Dan rambling on just cause the only person he can get kissy lips with this valentines day is with LITTLE TOO. That guy just blew up your blog.
I forgot what I was going to say. Aren't cherubs nude? Why aren't you nude up there? WE won't laugh ....
This post reminds me of a dirty joke but I try to stay clean on line. Except for when it comes to groundhogs... again why aren't you nude. I saw Dr. SHoal almost nude once that was cool. He could be my Valentine if I wasn't married.
More pictures of Dr. SHoal in his bikini less pictures of speedcat- and Elvis in his bikini too. Maybe Captain Kirk too- he's sexy sexy man!
OWWWW!
You hit my heart there Eric :-)
Btw: Thanks for the visit from your mobile phone the other day!
Speedy...are you going to Jared or do they have that in your part of the country?
ROFL Speedy!!!
loved your song.....you have such a deep voice... :000
happy valentine's day :-X
and don't work too hard today xx
Yes to the candy and kisses.
Smooch.
Your post "Melted" my heart.
You don't fool me Speedcat...*Wink*...I think you are truly a "hopeless romantic".
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY SWEETIE!
Hugs,
Kimmie
I fell off my chair when I read something about "whips", "balls" and "chains".
Can you fill me in?
What?
**runs off blushing**
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