Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Venus VENTURE Hollidalian

Venus Space Shot After building my Spaceship VENTURE Hollidalian, I planned my trip.

The mission would take 120 days, but I brought my laptop to blog about the journey ... time flew by. I never have encountered a mechanism that can twist time like writing. Hours seem as minutes, even in the vast darkness of the universe.

I also had my trusty co-pilot Mardy, an Apple Headed Chihuahua to break the intense loneliness of the tin foil craft. They call it tin foil - but why? It is really "aluminum". Of course with a high tinsel strength and low weight, this metal was the perfect material for my vessel.



From SPEEDCAT HOLLYDALE PAGE


Venus Space Orbit


Venus Space Craft VENTURE Holidalian


Venus Landing Speedcat Hollydale

Venus Hilton
After a flawless landing, I grabbed my duffel bag and headed for the hotel. Yes, the rates were steep, but how often to you fly through 1 billion miles of black void in a tin foil space box?

When I arrived at the front desk a woman with purple boobs and green antenna's said, "What planet are you coming from sir?" .... what planet? How many planets were booking in to this place??

I replied, "Well, Earth of course ... are those naturally purple?"

She gave me the key to room 77, and never did answer the color quandary. Aliens are so sensitive!
Well, after such a long journey, I was parched. A grapefruit juice with a splash of diet coke on ice sounded terrific. Instead of going to my
Venus Saloonroom first, I stopped at the Inter galaxy Saloon and Dinner Club. Man, what a rowdy bunch in there! We were all talking shop, and comparing notes on bio-fuel mandates from the Utopian Commission on Uranus. (I put that in special for commenters)

The only other human in the place was the waitress .... and then she walked in. The most beautiful woman I had seen in my entire life. I invited her to sit at my table, and she obliged. We laughed, talked, and danced for hours! After a few more grapefruits, I got my nerve up and asked to to come up for a nightcap in my luxury suite. She asked if it was the one with the hot tub, and I said, "YOU BETCHA". Even though this verbal outburst clearly gave me away as a Minnesotan, she did not seem to mind.
After turning the key and opening the door to room 777, I stripped down to my bathing trunks and hopped right in. She sat on the edge, drinking some champagne.
Maybe it was the new planet, maybe it was the lighting ... who knows, but I asked her to marry me.

Venus Hotel Room / Speedcat Hollydale

She said, "Why would I want to marry a man that drives a tin foil box?"

. . ... and where is my dog??

79 comments:

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

My first thought was that you were gonna die in that tin foil box. What were you thinking? Was that built to code? Of course, you survived being in a cantina with Star Jones, so you're clearly made of sturdy stuff. Minnesota is known for it's sturdy stock.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Yes ... the stock is hearty! One of the only ones with any value left.

My tin foil space craft is now on display at the Smithsonian. Scientists the world over are trying to figure out why I am still alive!

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I thought you were going to make it with an alien. Drat I wanted to know more about the strange colors of body parts too.

You are a silly man Speedy. Don't delete me Speedy. Bwahahahahahaaha.

Have a terrific day. Big hug. :)

meleah rebeccah said...

That WAS the greatest adventure EVER!

Anonymous said...

You were definitely tripping there. Hahahaha. Cool ride, though. And what did happen to your dog?

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Meleah ... with 120 days to write this post, I thought it might be a good one. Usually I spend 3 minutes or so!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Mystery person ... trippin dog, TRIPPIN!!!!!!!

My dog? I think Mardy is still on Venus

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Sandee ...I KNOW!!!!!

I guess some thinks are just not in my Holla Deck of Cards


DELETE DELETE !!!!!!!!!!! (he heee)

Busy Bear said...

Cool story! Wanna X-change links?

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

Gosh....a few grapefruit sodies & you're a PUSHOVER!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Olga ... that's why I drink it at home now. After 77 marriages, I'm DONE!!!!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Busy Bear ... oh sure (he hee)

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

77? WoW....and I thought I was bad!

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

I mean good.

The Muse said...

AH HA! LOL I was waiting for the planet of Moon Women! LOL ...

I bet NASA engineers are soooo jealous of that fine craft! LOL

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

Depends who you ask I guess!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Olga ... You married other undergarments?????

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

I hooked up with a couple of stinky old boxers before....in my OLD life....yes.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

MUSE ... there are women on the moon too?!!??

I am planning another trip :-)

(this time a porche space ship)

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Olga ... I was in boxing!

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

Reallllllllly? I bet you were a real knock-out Speedy! :)

Chris said...

I'm really worried about Mardy! You THINK he's on Venus? Wouldn't that be MARS since he's a boy? Oh wait! He's with all the FEMALE chihuahuas on Venus. I get it now. :)

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Chris .... WHAT ?????????

Ha haaaaa!!!!!

You must be reading non fiction.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Olga ... they called me the Termination Cat

Chris said...

Oh, am I not making sense today? Must be all these Tim Tams. I'm fairly certain they have a VERY high sugar content. :) Tastes better than fiber. :)

Jaffer said...

WOW ! The greatest Adventure ever !!

"You bet eh !"

"Annie" said...

Laughing...Yes, where is the dog?

I just finished watching the movie "Fargo" (Smile) "YOU BETCHA"

Personally, I thought the whole universe loved Minnesotans...where was she from?

Hugs~

Annie

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Annie ... she was from Xentropmania in the outer Zanadu!

She had an accent just like Olivia Newton Johnson

Mardy found his way back on a commuter train, and I have been feeding him Kennelration Masters Choice trying to make it up to him.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Chris ..... PLEASE send some of those over, won't cha???

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Jaffer ... I think I will stay on the ground for a while, so if you want to borrow my foil rocket, be my guest!!

I highly recommend going to the Venus Hilton.

dmarks said...

I wondered who bought Mir off of eBay. Now I know.

Looks like you fixed it up a little.

Chris said...

Um.... Speedy... I'm not sure I can share these things! Ya know how delicious BROWNIES are? Well, these just might (MIGHT, mind you) be one step better. I'm still pondering on it... I do enjoy brownies. And chocolate sheet cake. And...

Obviously, I need to eat dinner. :) QUICK!

Michelle Gartner said...

I don't get it?

You flew to the moon encased in aluminum and asked Star Jones if her boobs were purple at the Star Wars Cantina?

Why don't you get more sleep and turn off the Sci Fi channel at night?

I heard George Lucas was looking for you... he's a bit touchy about his content or so I have heard.

Bella said...

Okay, that's pretty cute, but where's the 4x4 meme???

=) Bella

Crazed Mom said...

I'm stunned. I have no idea what to say to you. Purple???


Auntie

mauniejames3 said...

Speedy I want to go on the next trip...I will be bringing healthy snacks...chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream..pizza...lots of pizza. lobster salad...cold soda..
bacon eggs and blood pudding...had that as a kid and ya don't find that kind of good stuff anymore.
take me please..please

Nurse Amanda Hugankiss said...

Your dog has been admitted to the Psych Ward at Hollydale General Hospital....& we have an extra bed available, if you're interested.

;)

BIBI said...

LOL! A pure gem.

Hey speedcat,! why didn't you invite me along?!? :-P

*BIBI*

Miss Moneypenny said...

Will the Tin Foil Spaceship protect U from the White House "Fore" Four years? ;)

Mista Jaycee said...

Should have asked the desk receptionist with the purple boobs out. I've been there. Turns out HE's really hot on his planet.(Smile)
Jaycee

teeni said...

"tinsel" strength had me just about dying with laughter. Good one, Speedy and a fun story. I love all the pictures, of course! :)

LOBO said...

Awesome awesome awesome!!!!!

Bobby said...

Perhaps a new prescription from Dr. Shoals is in order? When you come back to earth, bring me a woman with purple boobs, that sounds exciting:)

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Bobby .. I knew you would say that, she is waiting here for you to pick her up in a tin foil car.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Thanks LOBO!! .. it is all true, except for the part with my dog.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Teeni, without pictures ... I would have to quit blogging !!

(my favorite part of a post)

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Mista Jaycee Purple she he?? Whaaaaa ???????

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Moneypenny ... it will if I live on Venus

Speedcat Hollydale said...

BIBI!!! ... you can come with next time. I am building a 5 passenger foil craft now from ravioli tins

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Nurse ... a bed sounds REALLY good right now. Can you call me in sick too??? (smile)

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Maunie ... you had me at "cake"

Lets GO!!!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Auntie you are NOT stunned after reading post 588 and 907. This one was very rational in comparison!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Hi Bella!!

Memes and tags and awards go on Memetagaward blogs.

http://speedcathollydale2.blogspot.com

If I posted everything I do on this blog, there would be 8 posts a day ... to many!!!

Thanks for stopping by :-)

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Michelle ... Hi sunshine!! I think you liked my voyage :-)

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Chris ... if you really cared

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Chris ... OK PLEASE send Tim Tams!!!!!!!!

ha haaaaa

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Dmarks - THANK YOU, I was hoping someone would notice the fine craftsmanship I put into building (cloning) the parts to my ship!

Chris said...

Okay. I give up. I'll share. Look on the table in your new skyway. :) But I have to tell you, THIS HURTS!

Momo Fali said...

I married a guy who drove a 1977 ORANGE Cadillac (no, he's not a pimp). A tin foil box doesn't look so bad.

Mckay K said...

Speedy you are so adventurous. How could she turn down your marriage proposal just because of the type of vehicle you drive? So shallow. Glad you made it back safely.

Summer said...

You are such a crafty man. I could never make anything out of tin foil.

Daisy said...

Oh no! Mardy is lost in space?! Remember that show? HA HA!

"Danger, Will Robinson."

I think you are better off without the woman who is prejudiced against tin foil boxes. She probably had purple boobs, too, anyway.

Funny funny stuff here, as always, Speedy. Thanks so much for the laughs this morning. :D

Anonymous said...

checking in from a Best Buy store ... using a huge wide screen monitor.

WOW!!!!!! / have to go back to work in a few minutes - between jobs.

Hello from Speedcat :-)

EW said...

Hello, I'm back for more. What a great adventure!

Reading it while at work on Friday evening (UK) and feeling all sorry for myself.

You've made my weekend.

Thanks

EW

EW said...

Ps. What brand of tin foil was it?

Debo Hobo said...

I never know where to start when I am here.

How have you been?

Discovery Sound said...

Your a riot as usual.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Thank you DS !!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Debo ... foiled out!!!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

EW... what a nice comment, and the brand???

Renalds Space Wrap

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Daisy ... yah, I was being a little "ahead of myself" there anyway. She had leapard skin too!!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Summer ... if you start with small projects, like foil birds, it just is a natural progression!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

McKay ... THAT's what I thought too! She also claimed I had a nose hair problem. (untrue)

Speedcat Hollydale said...

MOMO - orange Cadillac? NO WONDER you married him!

I would love to have one, as my "car" is a 76 Pinto super hatch

Speedcat Hollydale said...

MOMO - orange Cadillac? NO WONDER you married him!

I would love to have one, as my "car" is a 76 Pinto super hatch

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Chris .........


I am loooking and looooooking


Did you take them Tim Tams back ???

Kanani said...

Foiled in the end!

meleah rebeccah said...

Next time take me with you!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

FROM FACEBOOK



....... Jesse Wolff likes this.

Jesse Wolff

This is the comment I tried unsuccessfully to leave on your blog: I visited your link Speedy, the Venus VENTURE Hollidalian??? Haaaaaaaaa...Speedy, where does your mind dwell, my friend, where does it dwell??? you are a crazy,crazy,crazy Genius/Total crazy-crazy guy and I am laughing fit to burst!! The term 'ROFLMAO' doesn't come CLOSE to explaining the hysterical convulsions I was thrown into while reading your story.

Seriously though,as a report,your tale has its merits. Its extremely well written,and it shows that you not only have an excellent knowledge of the Galaxy, you also have a knack of being able to make really useful objects out tin foil.
... Read More... Read More
Sad to say,you didnt get the Lady Alien, but you should have learnt by now that Women all through the Galaxy really don't like getting married to guys with crap cars Or crap Spaceships or crap ANYTHING. It really sucks that you forgot that simple but extremely important Rule.

Still, Its an extremely riveting adventure,and kept me glued to my screen following your thrilling journey among the Stars ... incidentally, while I was idly perusing that picture of you relaxing in the Inter Galaxy Saloon,I realized that the glowing headed Alien to your rear is actually my 5th cousin Oikelmenni Saxxa Pooni, who has been missing from home for decades!!

I conveyed this knowledge to his mother, my Aunt Gannamiln of the Leather Heads, and she wants him to come home immediately ,seeing that the idiot ran off 39 years ago without bothering to make up his bed ! Plus, he needs his allergy meds. Please tell him that his Mummykins wants him to return ASAP, or face extremely dire consequences... :)

By the way, Speedy, you are and will always remain the unsurpassed Genius of 'Comedy and Craziness' :)) Laughter is great, its the Best Medicine



about an hour ago
Speedcat Hollydale

What a super comment. (((( big big smile ))))

thx Jesse