Sunday, January 11, 2009

Special Announcement of Returning Chickens

Speedcat Chicken Cowboy They say you can take the chicken out of a man, but that will only make him irrational and bigger than his britches. That's what I found to be true here on the Hollydale Ranch. I had a good thing going, and squandered it all away for blogging. This is where I make my stand ... I reckon.

My story starts as a lad doing odd chores for Sven Hollydale - yep, that was my Granpappy. He gave me ribbon candy for feedin` the chickens, and bringing in the eggs. It was a small step, but a step that led me to my destiny.

As I watched the chicken cowboys workin in the fields, I was drawn to the graceful yet strong talents that kept the young-uns in check. It doesn't take long, and one of the roosters can be headed out towards County Road #9 to meet his maker. The wranglers were like guardian angels, watching over the herd.

Yup, my day came, and at 14 years of age Sven came out to the hen house with a proposition. He explained that the like of a chicken cowboy was a hard and lonely road, but full of rewards. He also said that I would have to go through a thorough and rigorous training period with one of the best. Chicken Lips Dan was his name, and he was a legend. Stories were told in taverns and churches for miles in every direction about the great chicken uprisin`. Well, I am not much of a story teller, but what I've heard is that after a pickup swerved of the turnpike, an entire line of fencin came down. Chickens was goin` mad, hoopin and squakin` ... they were flappin round and travelin in a Westerly direction.

Well, Chicken Lips Dan put on his chickenwire belt and mounted up. There was fire in his eyes and a raw determination that could pierce an eagle right out the sky. Of he went and had every single live bird back in the hen house before dawn. There were red peck marks all over his body, but he did not cry out. Nope, he was a hero, and had a holiday named after him there in town. It's called Chicken Lips Day.

Dan showed me the ropes, and handed me the reins. After 10 long weeks he looked at me with a tear in his eye. "Son, I gave my life to this here farm, and there ain't nuthin that would take me away from it, but I can't take punishment anymore ... I hope you take what I learned ya, and watch over my flock. Time for me to retire, and mosey down that dusty road back to the woman I love, and left behind thirty odd years ago".

I looked him square in the forehead and said, "Are ya sure she's still out there Cowboy Dan"? He never answered that, and I wonder if he's still walkin down side streets callin out her name.

GERTRUDE ..... OHH GERTRUDE WHERE ARE YOU ???

Well, that was a long time ago, and I am still here tendin` Hollydale Ranch. Not a single chicken lost or harmed in two decades. Yah, I left for a few months, but it's in my blood. Now how no way the chicken could leave the man. Wordless Chicken Tuesdays are back in town, so keep your ears on the wagon trail. Ya'll come on back now and join in on the festivities.


Just what IS Wordless Chicken Tuesday? Well, you can click here and get a taste.


Wordless Chicken Tuesday (returning to this blog on Monday Night)

... an early qualifier! New Years Wordless Everything / Moneypenny

24 comments:

bluecrystaldude said...

This post reminds me of chicken dance. LOL

bluecrystaldude said...

I never think that chicken could be a source of creativity and inspiration. Well, may be not as an inspiration, but they surely could be a source of humor. I gonna start clicking others Wordless Chicken Tuesday after this.

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

YAHOOOOOOOO!!!! This is the best news I've heard ALL YEAR!!! My cups runneth over with.....what else?...chicken breasts!!!

dmarks said...

Ever work at the boneless chicken ranch?

Chris said...

1000 words on WORDLESS Tuesday when it is a SUNDAY?

Call me confused! hahahahahaha

Chris said...

Well, make that confused but AMUSED. :) Can't leave that out. :)

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Ahem...I have an announcement.

Mr. Speedycat, please rise.

You have been given an award! A real live AWARD!!

Please stop by my little blog to pick up your trophy so you can proudly display it.

Daisy said...

Hi Speedy! I sure hope Chicken lips Dan ands Gertrude were reunited. Such a beautiful love story......sigh.

Wordless chicken Tuesdays, eh? Hmm...I'll have to investigate this matter further. :D

Hope you are having a good Sunday, my friend. Leaving a hug behind for you to find. :)

((((Eric))))

sinisterdan said...

You can take the chicken out of the man, but after that point, it is no longer fit for eating.

Just so you know.

Jaffer said...

Do you think Chickin Lips is still ridin them dusty trail ?

I sure feel like broiling that big ol bird you sittin on - Colonel style !

holly said...

i LOVE wordless chicken tuesday! the best thing about it is the words! and the picture! they compete head-to-head, mano-a-mano, for being the best thing.

is it open for others to play?

BIBI said...

Okay Speedcat. I love chicken. This blog is a hoot!

Well, well, well.It looks like Akilah and I will be fighting over you. I have a little award for you on my blog and she does also. But just remember I awarded you first. ;}

It's all fun. Just go for it!

Nurse Amanda Hugankiss said...

Well then....I have no other choice but to switch Wordless Bra Tuesday to Wednesday!
BUT.....that's OK!!!...'cuz ever since Wordless Beaver Wednesday got trimmed, it's felt kinda sparse!

I wonder...now will we need a new Chicken Wing at the Clinic?


C U N D I C U!!! :)

Mimi Lenox said...

"Keep your ears on the wagon trail..."
K, Speedy.
I'll work on it.

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Ooo ... a catfight between Bibi and I over Speedy. Meow!!

Aw, can't he thank BOTH of us for the award?! I've seen it done across Bloggerland.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

It's about time for Chicken Tuesdays again. I was wondering how long it would take for you to return. Love the story here too.

Have a great day Speedy. Big hug. :)

Crazed Mom said...

Oh yippee, chicken Tuesdays are back. WOOHOO!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Janice .... hope to see YOU on Tuesday (grin)

Sandee - yes, my calling card fell out me pocket for a bit, but my wallet is complete once more.

Akilah: I am the luckiest boy in the world today :-)

Mimi ... you can come on down here to the Ranch and I will show you around. Wear boots!!!!

Nurse OOOOOOO! A chicken wing! You have the best ideas in the Clinic

BIBI - This must be a sign that my blog is finally going somewhere! My TUX is at the cleaners so I do not have that greese stain while giving my speach. (smile)

Holly ... OHHH YES!! Everyone is welcome to play WCT. Even Pro Blogger

Jaffer, last I heard Chickenlips was on Twitter and Facebook trying to locate Gertrude. Interesting, because he cannot read!

Dan - that's for sure. Regurgie Chiki is not for me.

Daisy- I am hoping for two or more wordless participants, and you can add words. The rules are there are no rules. Maybe someone out there will see this and "know" Gertrude ... just hopin`

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Akilah!!!! I am standing, but it is harder to type. Can I sing a song at the awards gala?? That would be fun :-)

Chris ... it will all make no more sense by Tuesday, possibly LESS. Should be a barn burner though!

Dmarks ... why yes I did, how did you know? I was caught moonlighting and given a strern warning. Them bonless chickens is to hard to lasso

Olga .... two chickens fer dat price a one! Just like the State Fair

BLUE CD, The links are the best part. You will be amazed at what people come up with!

Miss Moneypenny said...

I heard Chicken Comedy isn't just for Tuesday, anymore... Is that true, Chicken Lips Dan? ;)

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Of course you can sing!

Just please let it be the wonderful, the magnificent, the Grammy winning ... Tractor song!!

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

Chicken cowboys? Shouldn't they just be chickenboys? Or chicken herders? Oh wait, chickens don't run in herds. So what would that be? Chicken brooder? Chicken clutcher? Chicken flocker? lol

Debo Hobo said...

Okay this sounds like fun,I'll try to participate. Cluck! ooh excuse me --as a mouth full of feather fly into the air. What the Cluck!

Julie said...

I found a typo...do I win ANYTHING?

**grins**