The tabloids are going crazy with the new look from Jessica Simpson at the big chili cook-off in Annandale Minnesota last weekend. Well, I can vouch that she is looking hotter than ever because as mayor my job was to be assistant and bodyguard for the day to the super star. If you asked me, she was way to skinny before ... I like a woman that has wider hips than I do.After she sang a few hit songs for the crowd, we walked around and had 5 or six bowls of red. She likes beanless, I like the fire hot variety. Later at the snow cone machine I asked her why the marriage with Nick Lachey went sour. She said it was argument about Egyptian cotton sheets that cost 5000 dollars. "If a guy can't see that I don't sleep good without nice bedding, he is just wasting my time", she told me. Well I could not argue with that.
People still ask me what she was like in person every time I leave the house. I tell them she was like an angel ... one that was out of my reach. Yes, you could say my time with Jessica gave old Speedcat just a little "crush" on this Hollywood starlet. Especially when the Dukes of Hazzard movie is my all time favorite DVD. She signed it for me.
115 comments:
You look great in those pics Eric, and fit right in!
Wishing you a great end to your week :-)
People are just insane!
She is really not big AT ALL and looks fine! And so what if she put on a few pounds. People fluctuate! She was adorable before and is adorable now.
Beanless? LOL!
Why were you in the pics?! lol!
I like Jessica's meaty figure. She's still sexy no matter. People who say she's a fat ass are just insanely vain!
WOW you're buff!!!!
It looks like Jess had some photoshop work done, but I ain't made at her.
Even with her weight gain she is well within the weight range for a woman of 5'2. So rock on Jess, rock on!
Well....Jessica is a curvy lass! I have a feeling she is even curvier after having been under your watchful eye! (or maybe uhder your computer mouse) ha ha!
She was a lucky gal to have you as her bodyguard though. I'm sure you didn't let her out of your sight for even a moment. ;)
I just have one question. Why is she wearing two belts? hmmmmmm.....
An autographed copy of Dukes of Hazards DVD? WOO-HOO! How lucky are you? :D
Thanks for the smiles this morning, Speedy.
Did you HAVE to -um- ENHANCE Jessica in that last pic? DID YA? Because I was TRYING to eat a sandwich and drink some tea and that became and IMPOSSIBILITY. I need the Heimlich.
I KNOW your evil plot, though. Kill of Chris so you won't have to PAY UP after losing that BET! hahaha! Maybe I should WARN all the OTHER takers of that bet as well!!! :)
(OOOPS! Disappearing again! I WAS NEVER HERE!)
I caught a glimpse of this beaty on E NEWS! And she's a decent sort from the front, from the back, she's looking larger than life too. It's the jeans I feel sorry for Speedcat. What pressure. Nice pics.
Curves are good things unless you're driving drunk
And thanks for visiting, I am sorry you were confused by the empty Champagne bottles ... I looked at the photo again and DAMN it IS confusing ...
nananana!! I recognize that body I think. Did you sneak in a little Anna Nicole there?
Oh you wild and crazy nut. What would we and the rest of the world do without you?
And of course she prefers her chili without beans. She's from Texas ain't she?
Any well brought up redneck from Texas knows you never ever add beans to your chili!!:-)
I also want you to know that I think I found a neighbor that has chickens.
If I get arrested it will be your fault.
I know you are already a DR. I also hope you are a good lawyer. I might need one!
Hugs and smiles:-)
Shinade ... well, I did DOCTOR up my own vision of a dream girl, now didn't I??
Chickens? - this could be Good! (I will be there to bail you out and be a council in court. I AM a lawyer too (studied on line)
Daryl ... how prophetic!! Good thing I quit drinking (((smile)))
I like the curves
Gary ... well, I never thought about it that way, but "I" would be the jeans if I could.
HA HAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!
Oh thank goodness I will call if I need you.
And concerning your rabbit comment here is my response.
Well my goodness Eric with all of those giant chickens you collect and keep you have probably scared all of the fowl away.....just teasing.
Yes it is the water. We have a ton of birds and fowl in this region. Also we are only a few miles away from a reserve.
Big hugs and have a fun weekend! Remember I am spending the weekend hunting for chickens!
This will be a first for me. Everyone keeps forgetting that I was actually raised in Dallas.
I am not use to mountain lions, bobcats, bald eagles, and certainly not chicken hunting.:-)
Chris ... I see you!!!!
(you are still my pal)
GO CARDINALS !!!!
he hee
Daisy ... I cannot publish a photo without filtering it! I guess I do have a compulsive side after all.
I thought this would be a great one for the search engines, so far so true. I also think she looks "Better" now than before, and wanted to react to all the bally-hoo from the media.
Debo, I so much agree!!
I see models all the time and think, good gads she needs to EAT
SO you were playing with the "bulge" button again today, eh?
I think Jessica looks GREAT! But....just wunnering Speedy....how WIDE are you hips? ;)
Sky ... True true!!!
And as I said to Daisy, changing photos from their original form is a bad habit that I just cannot break :-)
Akilah !!!
Yes, she said beans give her some bad methane expultions
ha haaaaaaaaaa :-)
OLGA!!!!!!!!!!
I just saw you Cuppie.
My hips?? About 42 inches.
Eyes a 6' 1" 237 pounder yah know then .....
Thaks Renny, and I stole some food from your blog just a while ago.
Thanks Brother Norway !!!!!
OLGA ..... LOL @ BB
he heeeeeee
So your dream gal needs 43" hips eh?
Who's BB?
Well ... NOT if she is 5'5"
BB is Bulge Buttons !!!
OH! Of course! BB! hee-hee...
How TALL is your dream gal then?
How tall ????????
Anywhere between 3 feet and 8 feet. ALTHOUGH I prefer two feet with five or six toes. (not ingrown)
So you like 'em sturdy & compact...with extra appendeges?
AND big eyes and big noses please!!!
..... and esp. ones that do not beat me with a rolling pin (((smile)))
YHEEEEEEE OUUUUTCH!!!!!!
What about legs?
Legs ehhh ?????
GOOD question, and the answer is TWO with extentions and high heel boots
Boots and jeans .... Speedy melt like butter on a hot plate
I suddenly have a craving for hot wings and drummies .........
?????????????????
What about hair color? Long or short?
And I hate to ask this....but....boobs?
Oh you said BOOTS!!!! Sorry!
Longish hair, (NO Shinade O Conners)
Color "any", but sandy is good (Ohhhh Sandy!!!!) he hee
Boobs .... I plead the 5th
( . )( . )
ohhhh dear
Well high heeled boobs just does NOT make sense! :)
SO your'e a jeans & booTs kinda guy....you'd prolly get pretty excited it you saw this headin' your way then, eh?
hmmmm she kinda looks like me now. She is such a copycat!
OLGA .... who is wearing the muklucks???? :-)
Bee ... well, then you are looking good!
You want her number???
SURE!!!!!!!!!
1-800-M U K L U C K
HA HAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!
really ??
Muckaluck a buckaluck gonna have some time to chuck a luck ..... Holydale Saturday Night!!!!!
Here's MY idea of the perfect guy in boots & jeans! Cute AND useful! :)
I was a scared to look .... but THAT was FUNNY !!!!!!!!
Guess he has a one track mind. SERVING the PUBLIC :-)
It actually reminds me of an old joke which I cannot tell because I am TOO MUCH of a lady...
Send it anyway ... DM !!!
Gunna do a "quick post" for Purple Frog Cat, back in 5 min
(direct message)
HA HAAAAAAA !!!!!!! ... OOOPS
Go ahead...post away!...I'll just be shinin' my booTs!
I saw the words "Chili Contest" and got excited! Darn, it's not really about that. Jessica is not my type. Just saying. Hm, know any good chili recipes?
She still looks pretty, but I'd rethink wearing those jeans... :D
Ane ... I think you got it !!!
Awake ... are you kidding me ????
I am the CHILI KING !!!!!!!!
There are many chili recipies on my blogs
Olga Cuppie ... "they is shinie??"
Sparklin' like DIAMONDS! :)
OOOOOOOOOOO .... lemme see
Where is the joke bra lady ??((smile))
Whew! Found a banned Samuri Cardinal on my site and had to beat him off with a stick! That was scary!
hahahahahaha
I am FAR to quick and agile (((smiling at you))))
Haha! Are you SURE because there are FEATHERS all over my blog now! I'll have to use my Dyson (or Tyson if Daisy is around!) :)
Er, I forgot the punchline.....BUT I found a blog you might like!
Chris ... until I look like this anyway
nursing home speedycat
Ha! That is hilarious!
It also explains the GRAY hairs stuck in the stick!
(smiling back)
OLGA!!!!!!!!!!!
SHAZAM!
I give TEN stars
I aim to please ;)
Holy cow, Olga! We may never see Speedy again now that he's seen that boot site! :)
How can you vacuum with a stick???
Chris ... I KNOW!
I fell in love 10 times, just like the Chicago concert in 1983
is this a joke? Or a question?
TEN TIMES! WOW! Well, at least it's a nice even number.
Well, it will be much harder to vacuum with it now that it has gray hairs and red feathers all over it.
Ok .... eleven
So .......... WHAT is your gameday score prediction Chris???
I think I am going to check out early tonight. I have BIG work day tomorrow.
Goodnight Olga!
Goodnight Chris!
Mosey's off down a dusty trail with gunbelt and chaps ... (whistling)
Did Dr. Shoals give Yoko Romo a Boob Job?
Since singing "You're My Sunday" did not help Tony Romo, I wonder if Tony will be pumped up to win football games after seeing Yoko Romo's new boobs? ;)
Happy Trails SPeedy! XOXO
ELEVEN! Okaaaay.
:)
Prediction? I don't usually do that. I'm not very good at point spreads and all. But, I will make a wild stab at it and say 21-17 STEELERS but the Cardinals will score first.
Night! :)
Moneypenny! HA HAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!
Just caught your comment. See you tomarrah :-)
Hey Speedy!
Here are some boots for you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5qx3fuTUHM
Course, you probably like Jessica's version better, but this one is CLASSIC!
damn she must have finally figured out what chicken of the sea really was lmao
oh my gosh....thems some huge boobies!
OMG what happened to Jessica. I think she had some chili and the whole cow lol.
omg Speedy..
I'll be back!!!
ps I had a dream about you last night :))
I think she looks just fine.
Just checkin' in on my Doctah....still gots a pulse?
I do I dooo
Angela .... me tooo :-)
Kim - NOW THIS I HAVE TO HEAR!
HA HAAAAAAAAA !!!!!
.... I must have been doing somthing weird, or maybe my face was on (photoshopped on) an Australian??
Hi Rolando! ... I wa buyin` so she had quite a bit. No kiss tho :-(
Maunie - HA HAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
yes yes ... very true
Coltfan ~ VERY NICE !!!!!
Why didn't I think of that ???? :-)
Chris ... those botts really WERE made for walkin (wink)
Classic song too
awwwww, as long as she's comfy :)
I just popped in to say HI!...and be comment #100! :)
Ponderer ... comfy indeed!!!
Cuppie cuppie Cuppie cuppie !!
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Comfy...I bet Jessica Simpson never thought that would would be used in conjunction with her name! :)
Comfy conjures up imagies of Grandma....or cowboy jammies for me!
On the other hand....comfy CAN be kinda sexy...if you do it right!
I feel comfy right now. I love a chair sometimes!!!!!!!!
Grama????
Comphy Grams?
Teddy Grams
Teddy Bear
Grizzly Bear
Grizzly Beard
Crusty Beard Comfy !!!
My chair is SOOOOOO comfy! I have a glider-rocking chair with big FAT cushions for my blogging chair...I could sit here for HOURS if I wanted too. ;)
...IMAGINE that! :)
I need one of those!!!
Mine is wooden, like my leg 8=|O
Between rocking/nursing my baybees & blogging - I bet I've logged a few YEARS in this chair! :)
Plus I figure the rocking action gives me about a .0000001% aerobic workout!
Where's YOUR new post? hee heeee!
yeah Speedy ...
you were showing me new computers lol
have you considered being a computer salesman on the side ????
Kim - this is so strange for a few reasons.
I have been in sales, and liked it.
My own company is slow and REALLY scary in this down economy
Today I have been pondering other routes for work
I have been dreaming about work
Quite interesting to say the least. Thanks for leaving this comment (smile)
Eric
You're not normal.... Hehehehe x)
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