Many days had passed after making my decision to re-create my existence. I had a new home, one far from society, and the old life that left me empty.
The new dwelling in the woods was simple. One room, a phone line, and a generator for electricity. This cabin came without a mortgage, busy streets, or neighbors. Peace.
Solitude could be seen as lonesomeness ... yet I had longed for freedom, and time away from everything. My old daily routine was enveloped with personal interaction. I worked with the same folks every day, saw the same faces at every corner of my souls room, which seemed to grow smaller with each and every breath. 
Constant reaction, intersecting with communications that never ceased left me dazed, and wondering who and what I really stood for, and most of all, who I really was.
The goals for the following year were simple; to write My Fairway, a book about my history and experiences in the sport, and to live in harmony with the outdoors. I did not want to consume foods from a packing plant, I wanted to fish for dinner, harvest a garden with fresh live nutrition, and drink from the well. What used to require 4 minutes of labor, and gasoline to drive to the market for a bottle of some over commercialized chemically created fluid could now be had by walking outside to the draw. Perfect omnipotence in my own domain, free of judgement and condemnation. Only the Lord above to witness and follow my steps. People criticize, God observes and guides. This is something that will strengthen a mans heart, not harden it into coldness, and resentment. These are the poisons that slowly inflict damage ... to a mind and a body.
Of course, you need a friend now and again. My dog Samuel was that entity. Just as I respected him, his eyes never peered to mine in anger. A companion of sorts, to share exploration, and endeavor. Man's best friend? True in some instances, although a limited amount of examples could be injected here. For now, limited was enormous.
My first days were spent in wonder. I could do, say, and act in any manner. There were no deadlines, huge bills to pay, nor expectations of myself. Pressure became a term only relative to atmospheric conditions. Sounds funny, I know, but I could feel years of sludge and negative karma flow out from my feet directly into the soil of my camp. My blood flowed clean again, much as a child's without the burden of past trauma. Each new day was an adventure with no agenda. What was possible was only contained by my own influx of energy, whether it was motivated, or subdued. One day might involve watching mother nature produce 
ripples - and then waves, then sway large majestic trees, and produce the twinkle of fireflies by dusk. Taking in the sunset, then peacefully drifting to sleep. In the past, sleep was never attained without a flurry of mental images, thoughts, and worries. Again, these things melted away into the clear fresh air that blew sun bleached hair across my brow.
The only missing piece to this puzzle was love. The strongest of men secretly long for this strongest of all emotions. Love is stronger than pain or sorrow; exponentially higher. The strongest pain and sorrow is caused by lost love ... how interesting. While indeed this part of my plan was flawed, it was a necessary evil - for the love I searched for was only attainable when my own heart was again cleansed of the world's tragedy. How is it that the suffering of the world becomes your own so easily, almost as if a mysterious kinetic energy draws it in, deep into people, deep enough to to be un-extractable. Here was my mission. Extraction of negative thoughts, feelings, and impulsive self serving direction. To gain love, I needed to leave it, and return with open arms - ready to accept and hold. I had spent a lifetime with arms crossed and defensive.
So the days passed. I learned through meditation how to examine my thoughts without internecine perspective from others. I realized that pure light can only project from a source that also reflects it ... and absorbs it at the same time.
Harmony of consciousness, clear determinations, and sharp logical decisions replaced the habits of old. The person that I saw in the mirror had regained the admiration of my own self. This empowering evolution was my epiphany, and final success. I had lost my crusted skin once more, and crawled out of it's shell. Feeling lighter, I was again ready to enter the life of social interaction and reaction. My new found zeal for living was the catalyst to proclaim my place ... and meaning. The place was deep inside myself all along.
Other things accomplished while in the woods ....0007 MEME MADNESS & a & a &abouta thingas Post,Double Dutch Tag: Bobby Revellian & Terri Quite Co..., My ALL TIME Favorite Posts! & Chimichanga, Wishing on a Lighthouse Star, My New CD, Lois Maxwell Moneypenny
their covers album "The Spaghetti Incident?", but its release date has continually been pushed back. (Axel only will release perfect songs) :-)
Here I am in my dressing room after the show.
In my recent post "Burning Desire" I asked the question, "What is going on here"? ... as I had a very green tongue. Answers ranged from a frog, to ice cream, to the winning answer by Olga the Traveling Bra. A GREEN PEEP! Here is the before picture.
Gordon Lightfoot
