Well, I just finished the second day on duty ... at my new job as a crash test dummy. No, it's not the most technical or glamorous career you can have, but it is very rewarding.My new boss has been very pleased with me so far, and said my resilient and rubber like body is perfect for "kissing windshields".
Today I destroyed a Chevy Blazer, a Ford Truck, and a Buick. I can't remember what kind of Buick ... they all look the same to me.
The only set-back has been an ingrown nasal hair. I keep picking at the darn thing, and just can't seem to stop. I tried to tweez the little bugger out, but to no avail. Looks like I might have to go see a specialist.
There is a doctor of rhinoplasty in Hollydale named Peaches Nordstrommers. She should be able to help me out.
Don't want to cut this post short, but I better get some sleep. Tomorrow I am going to crash a space shuttle! I must be the luckiest boy in the world.
119 comments:
The facial disfigurements will ruin your acting career!
What facial disfigurements?
I would have serious reservations about a Doctor named Peaches.
Howz about lettin' Doctah Shoals take a stab at yer nose???
All he cares about is beaver Wednesday ... and golf.
Peaches has facial fur! White, thin, and almost invisible. Great with rhinoplasty.
you should be good at crashing with all that texting and driving!
Good one Drowsey! :)
Suit yerself Dummy....it's your nose.
What about the one that did Michael Jackson's surgery. He could definitely make your nose smaller
What about your wenis?
Um, maybe you should wear a helmet. Just sayin'...
I think Drowsey is right. And Daisy is a smart cat ya' know....ehh?
take my son w/you..He is driving me nuts..he already has a orange jumpsuit 4 halloween...
I think you bumped your head just a little bit too much on a windshield. Just saying. Bwahahahaha. Have a great day. Big hug. :)
Get your finger out of your nose before it gets stuck in there. What are ya, diggin' for gold?
Hi, just going through old mail. You must have found me through the black box. Thanks for stopping by, come back anytime!
Now that picture in the sports car...which one is you?
Sometimes people just find the most perfect job for themselves...lucky you.
my perfect job is "lady of the evening"
you know testing comfy beds
hubbys best job would be fencing
dummy...today I'd love someone to remove all his stuffing
err umm don't bother with the helmet...it's too late to make a differance
your right eye isn't looking all that good either...just sayen
I bet you can't tell I had three cups of coffee...should of had wine...
I am sick of pasta...what else can I eat?
I just heard lobsters are so cheap here you can get a pound of lobster for the same price as a pound of bologna.........
now that's a good deal
Will someone please come and cook something?
anything? please....just
coffee alone...not so great
Sometimes I feel as if I am just talking to myself...
did ya ever feel that way?
the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog....
peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers
she sells seashells down by the seashore
okay you win...nobody is out there
I am going out to the kitchen and get myself something to eat...no...don't try to stop me....
here I go...
bye bye speedy and various others
maunie is high on something-i don`t think it is coffee
i am serious..you want my son to be a test dummy w/you?
why don`t u take all the kids with u?
and the husbands that don`t listen or do housework
Still @ Work ... Reading Comments! Tnx All / Speedy
good luck crashing that space shuttle.
doncha hate when ya tweezer nosehairs, ye gads! o the pain and your eyes water, nose twitches, and just want it to pass but you're still lookin' in the mirror and saying "one day, one day, you will be be gone! but not today" :) o by the way Crash Test Dummies were an awesome band up nord eh
I hope you didn't crash, dummy.
xoxoxoxo
Hey buddy, gave you some link love in this post:
http://www.aaroncook.com/2008/10/hump-day-humor-bailout-thoughts-from.html
Heh heh. Hope you're having a great week! :)
Is picking shattered glass out of Uranus, rewarding??? ;~))
i'm glad u love it..eventhough u have to sacrifice a lot..err i mean yr handsome face...:D
i'm glad u love it..eventhough u have to sacrifice a lot..err i mean yr handsome face...:D
Waliz!! Great to see you. Even better twice :-)
Sacrifice is my middle name
Miss Moneypenny
(speechless)
ha haaaaaaa!!!!
Hi Aaron ... I like the turd cat!!!
LMAO
Boo!!!
Olga ... wel SURE I crashed!
Shuttle mission accomplished. My "skin" is stretched out.
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Hey Nurse ... I still only see one.
Where are you looking?
I ponder ... I remember the Crash Test Dummies!!
Might add a song for this post :-)
Great poem today
@ your blog, silly
How about Road Rash?
Meleah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got my NEW DVD today! You are a doll :-)
Silly?!? ME?!?!?
There are 2...no, now there are THREE weniseses on my blog...
Toodles! :)
Road rash??? Yep. My ulbanastin is all scunned up
ohhh dear
Kim Purple Frog: Well, there are ALWAYS openings!
Maunie ... as always I LOVE your comments. ALL of them!!
I was reading on my cell phone at work today. You gave me a big smile.
SMOOOTCHHHH!!!!!!!
Megryans Mom ... Will do!
I have been really busy this week, but plan to catch up on everyone's blog soon.
Thanks for stopping in!!!
Debo Hobo ... HI!
Yes, there is gold in me schnazze, and a whole pot o it!!!!!
Sandee ... what??
Kim ... he works on the hiway department road crew??
He HEEEEEEEE
Hi Jackie!!
I did not forget me tag ... just been busy. I do alway make a bit of time before bed to hop around my page a bit. So glad you are on Twitter now. I really like it, and was referred there by a great pal.
Daisy ... we need to reinact lifelike crash behavior and then I was hungry.
mother???
Etta Rose Good point!!
I would go with a snap on / snap off nose. (like Micheals) 8~)
Olga ... and a tie???
ahhhhh
HE HEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Drowsey (smoooootchhhhhhh)
your exam results are in from Doc Shoal. ***VERY GOOD***
I want my prize, what happened to my prize??? :-(
TWO!
orange jumpsuit foe halloween is:hes going as a convict this year..he is very proud of his outfit
the other son is going as a police officer
my daughter is going as an angel dressed as a punkrocker
what r u going as?
KIM!! ... I was just about to log off, and saw your comment :-)
The kids have some super costumes, I always go as ELVIS the bowler. I'll post a photo soon.
Goodnight Purple FrogCat
Hugs for the dummy! Heehee.
wow you guys are up late...I go creeping up to bed about ten thirty...us old, old, old, people need there sleep
pssst........I had cereal for supper....ewww........
Hubby refuses to go to the costume party...he's just mean...
perps...I was not high...just hungry!!!
was the cigar there yesterday?
guess I'm losing it...too bad...so sad
It's six thirty a.m. do you know where your dummy is?
hi speedy eric -- sounds like this career would save tons on not having to fund retirements. hehehe.
you silly boy, beany-boo !!
hi speedy eric -- sounds like this career would save tons on not having to fund retirements. hehehe.
you silly boy, beany-boo !!
oh and speedy ... your nose picture is a riot!!! and weird coincidence. i had no idea you put shazam on your photo/post today when i left you that shazam comment on your older blog post or maybe it was olga's blog. i mix you two up all the time because you look so similiar ... cause both of your comment sections are flooded with your back and forth tennis (comments fun).
weird, i never said shazam to you until today.
weird, jim never drinks coffee at home.
hmmmm?
why ask why?
toodle loo speedy weedy ..
beany-boo!
okay I'm a little slow and we all know that.
I am not ashamed of the fact that I do indeed fit all requirements as a stereotypical blond.
But, I just found out who the DR. shoal is...yeyyyyyy for me!
Oh yes I am very sorry about buzzing your mobile...but, I didn't know....yet another blond feature of mine.
I am twitter and cell phone illiterate!
Are you making fun of my girlfriend? Sorry I cannot vote for BO. Not happening! I cannot vote for a guy that sit in a church that spews hate for 20 years...nope cannot do it.
She's the freaking VP? Are you kidding me? People are making fun of her? Are you kidding? This is the left wing press who's going to be out of job! That's why they're making fun of her...they want socialism my friend!
They're going to be unemployed!
You don't know that! The press isn't smart enough to ask the right questions. They don't know enough know how to read a 10K!
Or a 10Q!
Or know what's really going on Wall Street.
Are you serious! Those journalists are jokers. So BO is going to drive us into a deep depression? Do you know that?????
OH yah! Trust me on that one!
Think FDR my friend.
And journalists aren't smart enough to know better.
Seriously my friend...
i would love to see that picture of you dressed for halloween
maunie, my daughter has ceral for dinner alot,she is very about food
she does like onions in her food,neither do the boys
i cook with everything,,if the kids don`t like it,they can find something to eat or starve,,it is their choice
Your a gentleman and always do things - even testing - with style as I can tell you saved your cigar ;-)
Wishing you a great end to your week!
Wear your seatbelt!
OMG! You are just about as funny as they come! Thanks for the smile and a little giggle. I needed that!
Hey, you didn't follow through on your TAG. I'm hurt! :*(
But you are still funny as h*ll!
- Teresa
Gosh. You sure do work a lot. I just thought you were independently wealthy.;)
I just recently started following your blog. In fact, I'm not even sure how I found it. But I guess all that matters is that I did.
So anyway, we're good! Have a great weekend. Sorry you have to work!
Hi Speedy! HA! HA HA! You have more careers than anyone I know. You're like a modern-day Walter Mitty. :D
Hope you're having a great weekend. :)
tc...wow you sound normal...how come your here with all of us nut cases?
kim...how come your talking to me at speedys?
Speedy...did you bang your head? where are you>
I've been cooking for the party tonight and cranky hubby doesn't want to go...costume or not!!!
apprapo of nothing...I love onions
and garlic...all the good stinky things.
Speedy are we doing write ins for you at the voting booth? or are you happy being a dummy?
I'm still in charge of vice aren't I?
I'm going to work on hubby and see if I can get him to go to the party...what do you think...a hammer or a skill saw?
Hang in there Speedy. "It is a Far Far better thing that you do!" Your sacrafice is greatly appreciated. Perhaps you should try a wrench and some WD-40 on that ingrown hair.
Intrepid ... I went to KMart and picked up some WD-40. Can I borrow a wrench??
Maunie: A Party??? YHAAAAAAA HOOOOOOOO
... and yes, you are the vice pres.
plan on being busy because I will be calling in "sick" every other day.
Daisy!!! (flower Daisy)
Who is Walter Mitty
Teresa!
I am all finished. Hope you like it :-)
You are ALWAYS welcome here. Thanks for the tag, and hope to see you in the future.
Hi Bill D!
ehhh ... seatbelts are for the laymen. Ha haa!!!!!!!
Renny, I still owe you 20 bucks from poker night with Al Gore. OOOOps.
Is that magical flying bra over there in Norway yet???
Purple frog ... will do!
(I LOVE onions)
Are we having a hot dish??
Ev Nucci .... you really are a wild one, and Speedy luvs ya!!
Have a nice trip to the city, and we'll see you soon. Did you read this post??
Ha haaaaaaa!!!!!
Kiss on the cheek :-)
hi speedy -- you can borrow my WD-40 anyday. i like being squeak-free.
is it easier to keep your toenails trimmed up good if you spray WD-40 on them first? (you know, so nobody gets hurt because you know what happens when things go flying ... you're gonna put an eye out ... and speedy clippings in the eyeballos are not a pretty sight .. haha, pun not intended, that came out accidentally innocently.)
nighty night silly boy .. tricks are for kids .. shazam annnnddddy .. where's aunt bee and alice from brady bunch when you need em? they are over here baking you up some nice apple pie. i'll send them over to clean your toilet when they are done feeding my family the goodies. don't forget. don't go to bed with clippers still in the open position. USE THE SAFETY. i don't want to see a speedy eric in tomorrow's headlines ... found, man with nail clippers embedded in neck, he was so young, he still had so much to offer to the olga world if only he could have kept away from his clipper obsession, it did him in.
hehe
have no idea where all this weird stuff came from. you rub off on me silly man.
cheers and raises my flatdance to ya,
beany boo
PS. elvis has left the building
Shinade ... you can page my phone on twitter anytime!!
I just wanted you to know that my relpies would not always be "Speedy"
Sometimes I can text at work with my phone, and other times I am so busy that going potti has got to wait.
"Daisy the cat" taught me that phrase!
Hello from Doc Shoal
speedster,
i think that was by far the longest 16 page comment i have ever left you. do i get a prize?
toodle loo, beany baby
Beany!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha haaa ... you are so funny tonight. (I like that)
Might we have a WD-40 party someday? I do not do tupperware, so WD might just fit my duck bill.
I lost that red straw that goes on the nozzle.
AHHHHHHHH!!!!! ... WD all over the place
Beany ... SHAZAM!!!!!!!!
Ohhh, sure!
hmmmm, I will figure out a prize 4 U
smile
.... I am moving up to the current post
hi speedy ..
beep, the blogger (ahem beany) who you have tried to reach is currently out of WD-40. should you have an emergency, go over to her blog and grab one of the sunshine awards ... for you bring her so many lifts so often.
thanks man .. bean-bean
and speedy,
it's too hard to keep a good seal on the tupperware containers because my WD-40 red straw keeps getting caught in it. irritating bugger.
i don't like straws anyway. too difficult to suck out my chocolate shake with a straw that thin. the almond chunks get in the way .. and then i start to lose my breath .. and then doctah and nurse ee poo have to be called over to do a hemlick manever on my poor soul.
why does hemlick sound like that? sounds like something a cat would do.
not mardy.
mardy would cough up hairballs.
night night, bean-bean
i have a halloween costume idea for you over at blogging den 2
Nice nose job!
ha ha funny post.
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