So ... here I am, all excited to get off work early today. The weather was pretty nice for a change, so I decided to stop at the Hollydale Golf Course.I had just hit a few wedges to warm up a tad (I'm no spring chicken anymore) when this giant damn squirrel comes down Main Street firing of laser beams out of his eyeball sockets !!
My first instinct was to just ignore the 10 story acorn eating Goliath, but the darn thing just kept getting closer and closer to the range.
I went back into the clubhouse to try and return the 2000 golf balls I just bought. The kid said, "You're on your own, Speedcat!" ... then ran out the door and hid in the cart garage.
I yelled back, "What a big wooosi!!"
"It's only a squirrel!"
I did finish hitting all 2000, but let me tell you, it's hard to concentrate and hit the long, strait drive while a whole city is being burned to the ground.
The squirrel left at 5:00 PM, after finding a 25 ton acorn in Elron Sepasitorisito's lawn.
179 comments:
Jeesh! And I thought I had a tough day!
Oh...and about the giant lasercorned squirrel?...
...next time why don't ya just take him down with your oversized 460 cc with a Fukaja stiff shaft?!?!??!
Thank goodness!
I was just sitting here thinking .... will nobody come look at my new post ???
Ha haaaaaaaa !!
I tried using my oversized 460 cc with a Fukaja stiff shaft as a weapon, but it was 8 stories too short. Dammmit !
Well, truth be known....I actually came over to check on your html code...
Seeing your new post was a bonus! :)
Couldn't you just have wacked him a lot around the ankles then?
Squirrels don't have ankles Olga.
Here, have a 25 ton acorn on the house!!
ON the house, Speedy!?!?
Of course squirrels have ankles! How else do they keep their feet from running away? Silly man!
Here you go !
Acorn ~ LARGE
OMG!!!! That's ONE BIG NUT! (Where's the other one?)
What are those peeple doing to it...praying?...warming their hands?...preparing to catch it?!!?
It envelopes the Neptune orbital corn nut lander from mission Elron Hubard, commanded by lil Tommy Cruiships.
They expect it to open up like a venus fly trap going for a space crickit during the bi-millenial photon showers from Omeldican Asteriod #2389656127463247
... then, I hit it REALLY FAR!!!!!
With your oversized 460 cc with a Fukaja stiff shaft, no doubt!
Oh...I guess I really should ask...
How far did you hit it Speedy???
5000 yards !!!
Oh my gosh! That is one scary looking squirrel! No wonder you were distracted. Did you hit the ball in the cup?
If you did, I hope you didn't hurt Olga. HA HA! You did yell fore to let her know the ball was coming her way, didn't you? Course, with her cups, if you miss one, you might make it in the other one.
WOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Hey Speedy - ever heard of "Speed Golf?"
wow---5000 yards
Daisy!!
I was just sponge talking a post down (wink)
Hi Daisy! That's a good one!
But if Speedy knocked his balls into my cups...............................I'd clobber him!
(Then I'd give him a greta big hug, of course!)
Olga ... I INVENTED IT
My record 18 holes is 23 minutes
That is true
Daisy .... I missed the hole, but gained a friend :-)
I'll go see if I can soak up what you said. :D
Be careful, they say mold can be a hairy predicament with spongi guests!
greta big hug ... who??
I am justa feelin' a little Italian tonight...thatsa all! Wanna greta bigga hug.... OR NOT?!?!
18 holes in 23 minutes?...that's amazing! Did you run or use a cart?
Hi Olga! :D
She's feeling Italian---must be sporting spaghetti straps tonight.
heeeeeeeeeeee!
Give him a hug. Give him one from me too. Give yourself one from me too, Olga. You make me laugh. :D
Yes, cart, and Lo sguardo alle palle da golf vola intorno qui dentro Olga. Molto piacevole!
I wonder if it's related to the Giant Gopher that ate my garden a couple of years ago!?
Speedy, you can't have too many friends! :D
Daisy - HAHA!...I am just FULL of silliness tonight! (For a chnage!)
LOL @ Spagetti TRAPS ... ha haaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!
i LIKE THAT
mICHELLE ... A giant Gopher???
From college??
No mold could grow on you, Speedy, you move too fast.
whoosh!
Daisy, that's fer sure
Like a lightning squirrwel with a tail on fire
Hi Michelle! :D
That translated to:
The look to the balls from golf flies around here within Olga. Much pleasant one!
HAHAHA!!!....WHAT?
Double D sill, I would say Ms Spegetti Straps
HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he heee
I think you need a new translator, but that was nice :-)
From the field behind my house! It was like a summer of Caddy Shack!
Hi D!
I'd move fast too if I came across a giant squirrel shooting lasers out of his eyes (especially if he had no ankles!) 8-O
We tried Firecrackers, Smoke bombs, the garden hose, etc! The shovel finally did him in... We should have tried a golf club!
Caddy Shack---I'm all right, don't nobody worry about me. Dancing to the music.
X large gopher
Like this???
Well, a local golf course is advertising "Speed Golf"...you are supposed run around the course hitting your balls as fast as you can...they say it is "for fun and fitness!"
Sounds painful to me! :)
Outch !!!!!!!!!
ouch!!! whacked with a shovel---that's gotta hurt
They are not REAL speed golfers, more of Bi- Atheletes and Les Nessman Golfers
ha ha ha HA HAHA HA HAHAHAHAHAH
Chickens falling ... chickens faslling
They look alot alike! I think they're cousins!
Les Nesman--as God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.
Oh the humanity!!!!!!!
heeeeee ha ha ha ha hah aha
make sure you knock before you go through his imaginary door
hoo hoo heee hee he ha ha
Here I am in action (wink)
Speed Golf
Michelle, go ahead and try my cart!
are we talking about golfers or gophers?
or golfing gophers?
Daisy ... I was hoping someone would cross my bridge to nowhere!
Turkeys - that's right!!
AHAHAHA!!! But you arn't allowed to usea da carts. Gotta run! Runa Speedy RUNNNA!!!!
(Really...how stoooooopid of an idea is that?!?!?)
.... I think BOTH.
Often I forget what I was posting in the first place.
..... SOOOO sponge-like :-)
I got there in that golf cart of yours, but I had to hold on tight so I wouldn't fall out the back!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Speedy use CART !!!!
Nice cart! How does it do muddin?
maybe things fell out of the holes in the sponge so you forgot
So.......back to the squirrels.....how come you say they gotta no ankles Speedy?
how can you run and swing a golf club at the same time?
Who can guess my golf score ....My Golf Score?
(Girls: Let's see how many conversations Speedy can keep up with at the SAME TIME! *wink-wink*)
Great mudda ... and fadda !!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
squirrels only have knees--no ankles
My guess = %2F
.... ankles are connected to feet. Squirrels have hoofs ... er, paw ... things
I'm talkin 4 wheelin in the mud! does that ruffle your tail feathers?
43---wow that's fabulous!
Daisy !!!! You are correct :-)
Smart Flower
Hoofs! LOL!! I think they're claws!
What? You that was my answer but you didn't give me time to answer! :)
No, but that was a great song.
I crashed my cart into the swamp in Florida ... blamed it on an armidillo
7 !!!!!!!!!!
%2F
43 for 18 holes?! MAMMA MIA!!!!
armadillos have hoofs and ankles and knees and laser red eyes
What are your plans for the weekend Speedy? More Golfing?
Michelle ... I will go with claws for 5000
I mean, "What are Claws"??
7 what?
golf, family, blogging records, buffet, and napping
Papa Peea, baby's got the diarrhea.. Did you say that as a kid?
Buffet! Let me guess. Its probably Chicken night??
Don't forget to phrase it as a question. And good luck on the double jeopardy round. Don't let the doo doo doo song distract you.
7 squirrels !!
OOPPPPPS!
"what is, 7 squirrels??"
chicken/turkey they all have tail feathers that can be ruffled. Chicken and peas--that sounds good.
I'm hungry.
Michelle ... very astute!
I push my way to the hot wings :-)
Cats have claws.. Little paws with claws..
Me too Daisy!
I rest my case!
My cat has boots
Speedy takes the lead!! He says, "I'll take sponges for 800, Alex."
LOL! Mount the Ground Squirrel?
Daisy LOL!!!
Michelle ... Dr. Suess??
OLGA !!!!!!!!!! Man !!! (that lil fella din make it ...)
Olga---ewwwww! YUCK!
ha ha ha ha
Mount the Ground Squirrel !!!!!!!!!!
OMGood cats ha haaa!!!!!!!
Does he has a spanish accent and a little sword? Like Shreks friend?
I do NOT want to Mount the Ground Squirrel
YIKES!!!!!!!!
I know....poor lil' varmit! But he died for a good cause!
To prove that squirrels do INDEED have ankles!!! :)
puss in boots---that's not Dr. Seuss. You're thinking of the cat in the hat, silly.
Shreks friend has laser beem eyes and a mount ankle??
Mounting the squirrel is optional.
Is the ground squirrel spongeworthy that's MY question!
See I even phrased it as a question!
NO! you said your cat has boots! Silly
You probably have to use the sponges to clean up after the mounting! Read Olga's article!
I will take Dr Suess for 100 , Pat Sajack
Cat with Hats!
I usually golf in the low 70's....
It was in the low 70's here today--very pleasant weather for golfing.
Ohhh yeah ... I would like to retract my "question" with a duraflame log and a pair a legals
stoooopid blogger....messing wif me comments AGAIN!!!
actually it rained all day, I lied
@ Michelle ... that was some article
Oh you heard that one before, eh Daisy?!
;)
70's here too .... YEAH BABY !!!
oh my it's late and I have to go work early early early in the morning
ground squirrel spongeworthy ...
Elaine????
you all have fun--save me some chicken or turkey or cats or squirrels or armadillos or gophers or whatever you finally decide to have for dinner tonight
BB Daisy !!
Happy day tomorrow :-)
It was about 460 degrees here today!!! No kidding! I was HOT!!!!!!!
(still am too! *wink-wink*)
ha ha yeah it's me doing little kicks and thumb jabs ;)
You have to work on Saturday?? UGH!
nite nite Daisy! :)
It was about 85 here today.
bye Speedy, bye Michelle, bye Olga---ya'll have a good weekend
hugs to you
Olga, at least you dress for the weather ... AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN CANADA????
Bye Daisy :-)
is lasercorned really a word?
Michelle, it was?? What is average now?
I think Minnesota is about 71
Oh yeah...I forgot!
Well, I'm still HOT!!!!!
is lasercorned really a word?
YES
is lasercorned really a word?
YES
It's not easy having to think for myself AND my blog-mistress ya know!
It was only 2 degree's above average.
... and see through for breezy comfort all day long
did you just stutter?
I would love to live somewhere that it was about 75 year round!
Like this line of comments.
YHA HOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
did you just stutter?
ye y y y ya yes I did
53 tonight
Yeah...how many comments are we up to? About 460?
Between 53 and 460
Isn't that how hot you are Olga? 460?
Golf, weather, squirrels ankles, and sponges. I'd say we've about covered all the important topics! :)
Yes!
What a Coinkidink!!!
Check out these demotivators.
http://kysstherayne.blogspot.com/2008/09/demotivators.html
I like the Opportunity one! HAHA!
SHAZAM!!!!!!!
UH OH....Speedy's up to something...I can tell....
Never mind. He was just preparing to SHAZAM!!!!!!!!
Preparing some tacos
... and
I gave Speedy a Motivational Poster today! He TOADILY deserved it! :)
Volcano Tacos?
...and?....(leaning in, but not too far in...)
...I might tip over....
.... some big
.....yes?
Enchilada?
SQUIRREL ANKLES!!!
The toadally was sweet
(blush)
Burrrrrrrrrrito????
Oh! Silly me!
I thought we were talking Mexican food!
Speedy out of gasoline ...
C U tomorra !!
Tnx Michelle
Tnx Olga
Goodnight Giant squirrels with lazers
Outta gas? Eat more tacos!
G'Nite Speedykinspoopoohead!
:)
Hey you!!!!!!
I am enamored with the picture on the top of your blog! I'm getting ready for some Travel Nursing, picking out where I want to go, and that really is gorgeous!!
Shauna
P.S. Are there any squirrels there??
xoxoxoxoxxooxoxxooxoxoxoxoxxxxoooo
That is a code (it has a pattern, really!) hee hee
Good thing the squirrel did not go nuts too then ;-)
Btw: Did you know golf is the only chance for a gentlemen to say to a lady: Watch my balls - Don't tell Olga or she might get jealous :lol:
Have a great end to your week!
Be careful. Playing with fire is not Safe. I can make laser-beam eyes, I have not set anything on fire with my eyes. So far.
You my good friend have truly snapped.
I think you had better stay away from the giant poppy plants...
did it cost a lot to hit 2000 golf balls...boy, smart, cute and rich...
okay see ya later, I'm off to see the girls soccer games...one at 10:00 and one at 1:00...see ya later.
i didn't know that those things still exist. you could've made it your target.
btw, i have an award for you in my website.
Great picture
Eric,
He is so cute. So what if he is 10 stories high and melts anything he looks at.
BTW, thanks for joining SlogBite. You have been approved.
oh my speedy!
hahahahahaha!!!
**giggling, giggling, giggling**
thanks for the crack up. i had fun today looking around at some of your older posts that i didn't check out when you first published.
hahahahaha! you are something else! beany!!
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