This recent article in the Hollydale Sun Post Times Journal of Pressman has had vast and extreme affects on my life here in Rural Minnesota. The once unmentioned town has instantly become a household name. "Hollydale ... I heard there is a half chicken half man living there." Speedcat they call him. Maybe they should start calling him SpeedChikin!My story starts way back in 1937, when a proud mom gave the birthing to me. The doctor said, "Congratulations Mrs. Hollydale .... you have a bouncing baby boy". Immediately after that, he lobbed me into the basketball net for three points. Doctors are stupid, unless YOU are a doctor. Then the word would change to smart. I wonder do any doctors read this page? Naaa - doctors are stupid.
I loved chicken as a boy, and refused any other form of nutrition. We got all of our family poultry from the farm across the street, were they were experimenting with ACGH .... "Aggressive Chicken Growth Hormone ". Well, seems that I ingested just a pound or so too much of the ACGH injected chicken. The first sign was when my weeener fell off and a feather popped out into it's place. Soon there-after my ankles began to morph into chicken feet. My father loved this, and found that instead of buying cleats for baseball, his boy could just go barefoot - or "bare-chickenscratchers" as he used to say.
As I grew older, my goal became to hide the fact that I was a chicken-boy. The secret was held tightly, and had not been made public, until now.
Sooo .... the secret is out, and you can quit wondering just why I blog about chickens all of the time. I am a chicken man.
Epilogue: Yes, the feather is gone now.
MORE CHICKEN
Made for Olga the Bra Wonder!
29 comments:
I think with a butt and thighs that look like that... nobody cares what your lower legs look like :)
This is startling news! Your weener fell off & a feather took it's place?!?!?!?!
And now....the feather is GONE?!?!?!
Dare I ask what took IT'S place?!?!?!?
Oh My Gawd...I think I need a donut!
ok Chicken Man/Boy..
............eunich ???
I know I'm not supposed to laugh..but I can't help it...I've got a stitch !!!
I'm sorry Speedy...but that really serious INSERT photo of you makes this post believable..
are you receiving compo for your disfigurements ???
I have a real weakness for men in rugby shorts...
thanks for the pic ;)
that's a fair dinkum POSTER shot!!!
and to be honest I didn't even notice your chicken leg until I read the caption :))...so chin up...with a rear like that (and such STRONG thighs) there is still hope for you ;) ((hugs))
Michelle: Gorsh ... I wish a had an *** (butt) now.
Ohh sure Olga - my thing grew back.
Kim: What's a dinkem??? and my chin is up because of you! ...and my tin drool cup hanger ha haaa!!
I just hope that feather doesn't come back.
Aha! I knew that there was a reason for all of those chicken posts!
Your "thing" grew back. Define thing. I'm picuring a chicken neck or perhaps an extra drumstick.............muahahahaha.
~ YEP :) Just make sure to go with the "natural chikkies", or funny things happen. Remember Hormone Lake??? Yikes!!
AUNTIE!!!! GOOD ONE (very poetic too)
smootchie smootchie
1937? Was your father Orson Welles and Momma Chick laid a egg from Mars to create Speedcat, the Chicken-man just before the War of the Worlds in 1938? ;-)
Remembering the good ole days when Roger Dodger and I skinny dipped in Hormone Lake! :-)
The ACGH explains why Roger developed chicken breasts! :-))))
Miss Money Penny: Ohh - you are so right... it was 1927.
he hee, silly of me.
Skinny skinny dippin` in hor a monie lake yeahhh
Skinny skinny dippin` in hor a monie lake yeahhh
Some biggy crazy fishes comin afta YOUUUUUUU!!!!
Man I love randomness. And that was soooooooooooooooo RANDOM.
If I can find it I must post my easter card from years ago. It's an areal (areola?) view of at least 20 chickens crowded around a rabbit hole, their necks straining to get a good view down the hole.
The caption: The Easter bunny finally fell prey to the chickens' evil plot.
And when oh when are you going to teach us your mad photo shop skills? You are just TOO good.
Now ... about that feather and this spontaneous regeneration syndrome you speak of ... does this work for anyone? For re-growing anything?
No reason for asking. But some things I've had removed I don't WANT back.
holy flying feathers, batman!!
hehehe
i guess this REALLY does make you the BOY WONDER!!! ahahahaha
enjoy yourself, beany !!! :)
A chicken in every pot is the slogan on the Town Sign of Hollydale...I wonder how chicken tastes coverd in powdered sugar...:)
I come back after a short pause and my comment count is down to 13,your weener fell off and was replaced with a feather,and you have chichen legs. HE HE HE HE HE HE LOL
I just can't stop laughing.
I was right, you did come up with some crazier stuff. I am always amazed with what your mind can come up with.
Have A Glorious Day Today Speedy:-)
Oh my....I am laughing so hard...can barly write!!!
Does this mean that the entire universe can now remove their armor?
Hope you are having a super day!!;-)
SPEEDY!!! Chico's been bombed!!! And I betcha a MILLION donuts who did it!!!
Hi,
Will you play with me in Time Capsule Tag??? Thanks
Speedy...is this thingy anything like a penis? Inquiring minds want to know...your feather came off and a thing grew there...it's just a bit disturbing...sorry to be so personel but I am (laughing so hard I'm making myself sick) worried about you friend...if I can help in any way let me know...I'd lay of the chicken for awhile.....
lol ... I love how you look like a hard-ass reporter in that photo. Of course in reality you're just silly!
Son said, "mom...either chicken or hamburgers for supper...." I chuckled and got the hamburger out.
So how many free chicken sandwiches are you going to score at your local MCDonalds on the 15th? If you lived here you could probably go to about 15 different locations!
Check out this site.
http://www.cafepress.com/idpstuff.248080275
You can buy yourself a snow tubing chicken t-shirt!! You can model it for us..
hey speedy baby,
i think chicken tastes the best of them all yum!
why does everybody always say, it tastes like chicken?
cause they met you?
night night silly boy, beany :) !!!
Where's the bundt cake decorations?
Yum the cake looks delish...why oh why waste it on olga...she doesn't even have a mouth!! does she? I think all of your regular readers who do have mouths should share..and the one's who have avitars of a cat looking in a mirror should have the largest piece...and then if their name starts with m the next biggest piece and then....
That bundt cake looks like really BIG donut! How 'bout we fling it at someone, Speedy?!?
Ya know the more I come here....I understand completely why Walter is such an excellent fit for a company from MN.
SpeedYYYYYYYYY:-)
Yeah doctors are stupid! There's even a doc who refers to a book! *smacks forehead*
hhhmmmm.....thought it was '67! You do not look bad at all for someone born in '27 or '37 whichever it really is! Have a superb chicken leg day!
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