Life by Five

Five years seems to go by so quickly. What is it about time that makes life go by faster after each five years goes past?

Five Years Old
I lived in a suburb, the classic square blocks of houses, with sidewalks, trees, and a park adjacent to my folks home. Everyone was your friend at 5. Grudges lasted only hours, and every day was a new fun filled adventure. We lived on the end of Colorado Street, (when adults asked me where I lived - I said "Colorado"). With a dead end cul-de-sac as our own playground... bikes, trikes, big wheels, and every other riding toy imaginable filled the circle daily. When my father got home from work at night, he would ask what was broke that day that needed repair ... it was usually the "green tractor" that I picked out for my birthday. I barely remember the day, but he told me I could have anything in the store - the tractor was my choice. Do not misconstrue that we were a wealthy family. This was just a really special gift on a really special day. I put hundreds of miles on that tractor.

Ten Years Old
We moved out to a rural setting, and I changed schools again. I changed schools quite a bit growing up. I was weary of this fact, and found it hard to let go of friends and build new ones. Walking into a classroom of strangers in the middle of the year is hard for some, especially at 10. Back then, family was a social time. No computers, VCRs, video games, cell phones with text ... we played games together, and went to the grandparents' houses. All was good at home, we had what so many families lack today.

Fifteen Years Old
Motorcycle? I had a Honda dirt bike that could take me anywhere. I had more freedom at 15 than any other time in my life. There was not a place in a 30 mile radius that I could not get to by one trail leading to another. This was great, but most of all, I just loved to ride. Two hours would slip past like nothing. The journeys traveled were breathtaking .... lakes that stood alone in the forest were my own, hills, valleys, sunsets; all so peaceful. When I think about times that I could relive, the Honda would be at the top of the list. What used to be endless acres of country at my disposal, is now occupied by residential communities. There is a house on a bluff were I used to stop and dream of building my own house ... I wonder if they know how lucky they are?

Twenty Years Old
This was an incredibly fun time in my life. People, parties, dancing, the life of an adult without the responsibilities of an adult. A bit extreme? .... yes. Did I see it at the time? ... of course not! All in all, lucky would come to mind. There were so many times that I look back and think, "How did you come out of that unscathed or not in jail". I loved music, and cruising the avenue. This would all lead to the "nightclub". You don't here that word too much anymore ... then again you never here the "Bangles" much either.

Up to this point, each five years really seemed like five years. The last 20 seemed like five all together. I have been sober for five years now, hard too believe. While these last five have raced by, my life was altered drastically. In affect, I became another transformed and completely different person. a better one I hope... I find myself looking ahead to the next five years; there are still things I want to change in my life. I am tired of working a job every day that is not rewarding. I am tired of weeks with repetition. Most of all, I am tired of not looking forward to anything. Usually, the reciprocal is in affect: "dreading the coming week" when I have a day off.

The last 5 years have changed me personally. The next five I plan on changing the things that surround me. Personal growth and personal change are things that are easily passed on to "some time in the future" ..... I want that sometime to begin today. My hope is for each and every new day to be one that has another small step forward. Thinking of massive changes too quickly, seem to always end in defeat - small steps? Those I can handle.... even in the old boots I wear every day.